Also known as The Staff of Noisome Dazzle, Inexorable Congeniality, Abstruse Conferral, Gratuitous Perplexity, Obsequious Subpoena, and Exasperating Fuckery. Stats for this item and its shattered parts live on [DnDBeyond](https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/9544464-the-staff-of-noisome-dazzle-inexorable) This was the legendary staff of power wielded by the demon lord [[Fraz-Urb'luu]]. When [[Zagig - Zagyg]] summoned Fraz to [[Castle Greyhawk]] and deceived him into imprisoning himself there, the staff broke and shattered into many pieces. Those pieces were: - The [[Claws of Obsequious Subpoena]] - The [[Skull of Abstruse Conferral]] - The [[Shard of Noisome Dazzle]] - The [[Shard of Inexorable Congeniality]] - The [[Shard of Gratuitous Perplexity]] - The [[Shard of Exasperating Fuckery]] The campaigns in the [[Yahoverse]] all in some way revolve around powers that are trying to claim shards of this staff for their own. None more so than [[Fraz-Urb'luu]] himself, who seeks to reclaim and reforge his legendary staff. # Item Stats In its final form, this is a long, slender, jeweled staff, four feet in length, made of adamantine, cast at the end to resemble a tangle of bestial arms that splay outward to grip a fanged humanoid skull. Thick oily red smoke leaks upward from the skull's eye sockets. Also known as [[Fraz-Urb'luu]]'s Legendary Staff, this extremely powerful magic item was legendarily broken into separate pieces long ago. Since then, Fraz'Urb-luu, the Demon Lord who created it, has deeply desired to find those scattered pieces and fuze his staff whole again. Each piece of the staff is intrinsically attuned to Fraz'Urb-luu's arcane powers. He can sense whenever his staff, or any piece of it, is being used by another, and when it is used he immediately knows which plane of existence said artifact is located within, allowing him further insight into the staff’s location with each repeated use. Any properties of the pieces of staff that require attunement are permanently attuned to the Demon Lord Fraz'Urb-luu in addition to their current owner, and can only be unattuned from him with very advanced magic or a Wish spell. When he is within 100 feet of any piece of the shattered staff—whether reunited with its sisters or separate—he can, as an action, cause said piece(s) to become unattuned from their current owner. ### Personality The staff and all of its individual component pieces are sentient, have hearing and truesight within 60 ft., and cannot communicate. They are canny judges of character, and each has an Insight modifier of +10. Their only goal is to be reunited with each other and returned to Fraz-Urb'luu's clawed hand. Per DnD 5e, "Fraz-Urb'luu is the Prince of Deception and Demon Lord of Illusions. He uses every trick, every ounce of demonic cunning, to manipulate his enemies...He particularly delights in aiding demon-hunters against his demonic adversaries, driving the hunters to greater and greater atrocities in the name of their holy cause, only to eventually reveal his true nature and claim their souls as his own." In other words, he is a master manipulator and deceiver who delights in the despair and torment of others, especially if it leads to their madness. The staff's current powers depend on how many of its six component pieces have been reunited. Reuniting any piece with the staff adds to it... Four charges (up to a total of 24 charges at full power) Specific abilities outlined below The ability to cast additional spells To reunite pieces of the shattered staff, they must be reforged together in the halls of [[Zoragmelok]], Fraz'Urb-luu's fortress at the heart of his demonic plane known as [[Hollow's Heart]]. Each piece of the staff has its own entry in DnDBeyond, under the assumption that when a player finds it, it will still be separate from its sister pieces. The pieces are the following: - The Shard of Noisome Dazzle - The Shard of Inexorable Congeniality - The Skull of Abstruse Conferral - The Shard of Gratuitous Perplexity - The Claws of Obsequious Subpoena - The Shard of Exasperating F***ery Once two or more pieces of the staff have been reunited, they become functionally an incomplete version of The Staff of Noisome Dazzle, Inexorable Congeniality, Abstruse Conferral, Gratuitous Perplexity, Obsequious Subpoena, and Exasperating F***ery, and follow the system below for the expenditure of charges, the casting of spells, etc. Replace any individual shards in the player's inventory that are fuzed together with this full description. If another piece is subsequently added to the staff, that piece is unattuned from its current user and becomes part of the staff (attuned to the staff's user). ### Attunement A creature whom the staff regards as an ally or friend or individual or whose actions are in its interest (see Personality) may attune to the staff freely following normal attunement rules. Otherwise a creature must Concentrate on bending the staff to their will for eight hours to attune to it. During this time, the character cannot cast spells requiring Concentration, and if their Concentration on the staff is broken (per spellcasting Concentration rules), they must begin the attunement again. Once successfully attuned to the staff, a creature gains access to all of the knowledge held in this description (if they did not already possess it), including the abilities that are not yet active but will become so if their corresponding piece is reunited with the staff. The staff is limited to the abilities of its current components only. If any of its six component pieces is missing... Reduce the staff's number of charges by the number of charges the individual piece possesses Remove the spells that said individual piece can cast individually from the list of spells that may be cast by the staff. Remove the particular abilities or features that the individual piece activates in its individual form. When attempting to cast a spell with the staff, if a player rolls a result corresponding to a spell belonging to a piece of the staff that has not yet been reunited with its sister pieces, the charge is consumed and the spell fails. Example: the staff has all of its pieces except for the [[Claws of Obsequious Subpoena]]. The staff cannot cast Conjure Fey, Contact Other Plane, Gate, or Planar Binding. It only has twenty charges. It loses its ability to transport an individual to [[Zoragmelok]]. If a player rolls a 13 when trying to use the staff to cast a spell, the charge is expended and nothing happens. ### Abilities Below are the spells and abilities of the staff at its fullest power, once all of the pieces have been reunited. The abilities are brought to the staff by reunion with their eponymous piece. The spells are listed by component piece (in parentheses). Note that some of these abilities may not have been known to a creature who only possessed a solitary shard, but will become known to that creature if they reunite two or more shards together. The staff has a number of charges equal to 4x the number of its shattered pieces that have been reunited. It regains 1d10 charges every day at dawn. #### NOISOME DAZZLE Upon being picked up by a creature who is not attuned to the staff, the staff may expend 1 of its own charges to create a dazzling effect. Roll a d10 and consult the Noisome Effects list below to apply the rolled result. You may roll for a result every time the staff is touched by someone new. After touching the staff and triggering an effect, a creature cannot trigger this effect again for 1d4 hours. - The staff casts Heroes' Feast in an unoccupied space within 30 feet of it. The items of food or drink that comprise this feast are subject to reverse gravity. They will fly through the air upward as though dropped from the staff's height, and "falling" in reverse until they meet with a ceiling or other resistance, or disappear into the sky. - The staff casts *Hypnotic Pattern* with its tip as the center of its 30-foot cube. - If there is an open flame within 60 feet of the staff, it casts *Pyrotechnics* on the flame, rolling randomly to determine whether this produces Fireworks or Smoke. If there is no flame within 60 feet, roll again. - The staff casts *Dancing Lights* just on the edge of the peripheral vision of the person who touched it. If anyone is trying to attune to the staff, they must roll a DC 17 WIS save to maintain Concentration. - The staff takes on an unnatural sharpness. For the next hour, anyone who touches the staff with exposed skin takes 1d6 slashing damage and an additional 1d6 psychic damage - The staff casts *Nystul's Magic Aura* on the person touching it, masking them to divination magic to appear as a powerful fiend who is the source of an intense necromantic energy. - The staff casts *Programmed Illusion*, creating a performance that it is an exact recreation of the actions of the individual holding the shard over the last five minutes. The only notable difference between the real events of the last five minutes and this illusory representation, is that the staff appears to glow with a sparkly brilliant light and is easy to spot at the center of the illusion, even if it was obscured by a container or other covering. This illusion is triggered when any fiend comes within a 30-foot radius of the spot where the illusion was programmed. - The staff starts to cast *Simulacrum* on the person who touches it. While the staff is casting this spell, any actions that would normally cause a a roll on this list do not trigger that roll. If the person retains the saff on their person, either carrying it personally or keeping among their belongings within 10 feet, for the 12 hours of casting time, Simulacrum is successfully cast. The simulacrum appears to be loyal and friendly to the person whose touch prompted its creation. It will, however, attempt to steal the staff and flee to some hidden place as soon as it is able. From that moment on, the simulacrum is loyal only to the will of the staff, with which it can communicate telepathically. Players can guess the simulacrum's intentions with a DC 17 Insight check. - The staff shouts the following poem as if it is subject to a Magic Mouth spell at an incredibly loud volume: "He comes in winter, compassion and trust / He dances in spring with your loved and your lost / He calls in the summer, and serve him you must / He withers in autumn, you save him from dust / Your father, your mother, your lover, your child / His son, his daughter, his minion beguiled / And now that you’ve offered your life and your soul / He’ll drag you to ruin and swallow you whole" - Roll on this table again 1d4 times. #### INEXORABLE CONGENIALITY The staff may spend four of its own charges attempt to bestow the following curse on any humanoid that touches it: The character is Charmed by the staff and convinced of its extreme usefulness. They are not aware that the shard has cursed them. Characters charmed in this way will think of the staff as their most useful possession and default to attempting to use it to resolve their problems whenever possible. This curse can be removed with a *Remove Curse* or similar spell. You can use an action to present the staff, expending 4 charges to command obedience from each creature of your choice that you can see within 120 feet of you. Each target must succeed on a DC20 Charisma saving throw or be charmed by you for 8 hours. While charmed in this way, the creature regards you as its trusted leader. If harmed by you or your companions, or commanded to do something contrary to its nature, a target ceases to be charmed in this way. #### ABSTRUSE CONFERRAL An individual attuned to the staff may expend four of the staff's charges to receive a vision of a humanoid of their choosing. The vision functions the same as a scrying spell, except that the spell's target automatically fails the save to resist being scried. Upon receiving this vision, the staff's user can then choose to use an additional eight charges to bestow psionic gifts upon the target individual. These psionic gifts are, functionally, a level in the Warlock class, with the Great Old One patron, which is added to the recipient's character sheet following the rules on Multiclassing, but with no ability prerequisites. The recipient does not know the origin of this power unless the DM rules otherwise. Upon using this ability, the staff cannot bestow its psionic gifts upon another individual for 2d12 days. The DM may allow a warlock player that knowingly or unknowingly attains their gifts through the skull to substitute any gained inherent Great Old One pact spells for Fiend spells of the corresponding level instead. But neither the player using the staff, nor the DM should reveal to unknowing players the reason they are allowed this latitude. As the warlock recipient becomes more reliant on their psionic powers, they may choose receive addition gifts from the staff. These extra gifts are functionally additional levels in the Warlock - The Great Old One class. These gifts appear as though they come from some some shadowy, inscrutable eldritch benefactor who has selected the receiver as their champion. With repeat use of said gifts (roughly corresponding to the character’s level and advancement as a warlock), the target warlock will feel as though they are unraveling their benefactor's identity. They are visited by more and more real-seeming hallucinations of the supposed benefactor who is guiding them. This benefactor takes a form that corresponds most closely with the person's world view. If they are separated or estranged from the staff's user, the benefactor seems to be a ghostly apparition of that person. If they are of an arcane ideology or faith, the patron may appear as a deity or powerful entity of significance to the recipient.This guide, however, is not really that person or entity, but rather a manifestation of the power of its creator, the Demon Lord Fraz-Urb-Luu, and will practice this deception upon the warlock recipient to guide its actions toward the interests of the Demon Lord [[Fraz-Urb'luu]]. With repeat use of their psionic gifts, the warlock recipient’s will to resist Fraz-Urb’luu is weakened. For every warlock level gained through the staff, the character suffers -1 on charisma saving throws against the actions of the Demon Lord Fraz'Urb'Luu and his minions. #### GRATUITOUS COMPLEXITY The staff may spend two of its own charges cast Confusion on any creature that touches it. After being confused in this way, said creature may not attempt to attune to the staff until the following dawn. #### OBSEQUIOUS SUBPOENA An individual attuned to the staff may expend sixteen of its charges to transport any creature it can see within 30 ft. that is also within 30 ft. of the staff to a heavily warded welcome chamber at the heart of [[Zoragmelok]] the capital city of the Abyssal plane of [[Hollow's Heart]]. If the transported individual by the staff is holding the staff, the staff is not transported with the individual and falls harmlessly to the ground at the spot of the individual's departure. This transport functions the same as a *Banishment spell* (DC 23), but with a final end destination of this chamber, no matter the user's home plane. The chamber has an arched, gothic-style ceiling that rises to a 30-foot high peak in its center. Its six walls, floor, and ceiling are all made of adamantine. At the top of each wall is a hunched, inanimate gargoyle whose eyes seem to be constantly gazing at the PC. The chamber has no doors or windows. Any spells cast within the chamber that would transport creatures to or from the chamber fail, except if cast by Fraz-Urb'luu and his high-status minions who are familiar with the chamber. By default Fraz-Urb'luu has forbidden portal's to his domain to be cast by use of the Gate spell. #### EXASPERATING F---ERY The staff may expend six of its own charges to cast a version of the *Maze* spell, with the below modifications, upon any creature that attempts to its properties through study or by casting Identify or otherwise use it for magical purposes... Upon entering the maze, the PC finds themself holding the shard only, with none of their other inventory equipped. Upon succeeding at their DC20 Intelligence check to escape, the player instead comes to a chamber of the maze in which a Mage and a young child who is a non-combatant with 15 HP and is an exact recreation of the character in their youth, are being attacked by a pair of gargoyles. The player must roll initiative as one of the gargoyles turns its attention to the PC. During the combat, the wizard identifies himself as Truthseeker, an acolyte of the god Boccob. He recognizes the shard, claiming that he tried to use it and ended up trapped in the maze. He has been attempting to protect the child, who he found here, from the gargoyles for as long as he can remember. If the player casts one of the shard's spells on either of the gargoyles, kills a gargoyle, or if the child dies other than as a result of the attack action performed by the player, the PC finds themself back at the beginning of the maze and must start over. If the player kills the child, the spell ends. If the PC dies, they find themselves subject to the Imprisonment spell (DC 17), cast on them by the shard, who chooses the form that said imprisonment takes freely, without using components. ### Spells A creature attuned to the staff may expend one available charge to cast a spell. When casting a spell from the staff, roll a d20 to determine the spell that is cast. If the staff has been reunited with the relevant piece (indicated in shorthand in parentheses) the spell is cast. Otherwise the charge is spent and nothing happens. Color Spray (Dazzle) Hallucinatory Terrain (Dazzle) Prismatic Wall (Dazzle) Weird (Dazzle) Charm Person (Congeniality) Glibness (Congeniality) Hypnotic Pattern (Congeniality) Mass Suggestion (Congeniality) Blindness/Deafness (Perplexity) Crown of Madness (Perplexity) Feeblemind (Perplexity) Modify Memory (Perplexity) Conjure Fey (Subpoena) Contact Other Plane (Subpoena) Gate (Subpoena) Planar Binding (Subpoena) Imprisonment (F***ery) Otto's Irresistible Dance (F***ery) Tasha's Hideous Laughter (F***ery) True Polymorph (F***ery) Notes: 24 is the maximum number of charges for the fully reunited staff. Any current version of the staff might have between 8 and 24 maximum charges. #Item #Canon but heavily #Homebrew #OP #OotA #CoS