I have uh. [[Feelings on FFXIV|feelings about FFXIV]]. That isn't really a secret. It sits at about the same tier for me as *Kingdom Hearts* - a series that I criticize deeply because I used to care about it so much. Although my *FFXIV* heat is a little bit more turned-up because of the objective criticism I feel towards it. But man when *FFXIV* was popping for me it was **popping**. And it made me realize something about myself that's been helpful for me to this day: I am apparently a Community Manager. ## Social Event (Savage) This was a surprising revelation for me to be honest. I've touched on it before, but my origin story screams stereotypical nerd: quiet in social situations, usually only speaking when spoken to, the usual. I never thought I'd become the type of person to take charge over a group of people, but *FFXIV* got me there. I became this person, ironically, because one social anxiety clashed against another. When I was a fledgling little White Mage I was much too scared to heal in pick-up-games, worried that I would make a mistake and cause our party to wipe. No, the only way I'd make any progress was by syncing up with people I knew who were already playing *FFXIV* to clear content. Much like with fighting games, it was easier for me to tackle new trials and raids when it was with people I could already comfortably talk with on voice chat, who I was sure wouldn't chastise me if I made a mistake. But we were all on different schedules and time-zones. So if I wanted to play the game, I'd have to conquer my *other* social anxiety, and start building out our *FFXIV* social events. ## Decisiveness (Ultimate) Once I started doing it, I found that I took to making events in *FFXIV* pretty naturally. I'm introverted by nature, but with people I've gotten to know I'm a ridiculous loud-mouth. And I quickly realized that if I didn't plan our game nights, they simply wouldn't happen.[^1] But I am a very decisive person by nature. Once I've decided something that's pretty much it. I don't walk into a store without knowing everything I want to buy and where it is, even. So I took the reigns and did our scheduling. Soon enough we were steadily making progress in Eorzea. Despite all my qualms with *FFXIV*, I will always appreciate those adventures. Eventually that fun came to an end, but my urge to hang out with my friends didn't. So I continued to plan things for us to do. First movie nights, then fighting game sessions, then art nights, and even now we're in the middle of a game jam I planned out! It turns out I actually love being a scheduler. I get to find new ways to hang out with my friends, keep in touch with them, and share our hobbies. I get to see them make stuff even when I can't do it myself (I just vibe and play video games during our art nights LOL). I plan vacations for my family too. Beyond being decisive (and probably a little too Type-A, let's be real), it's satisfying to see a plan come together and for people I care about to enjoy it. It's become a hobby in itself, same as my writing. So even if I doubt I'll ever play *FFXIV* again, I do owe it for giving me the skill to be a manager of my "community" of sorts. Even if it's not in Eorzea, having the social skillset to put things together so I can enjoy time with my friends will be a life-long help. [^1]: I love my friends, they know this, but they can't come to a consensus for SHIT LMFAO