# lime green lawn furniture often travels at high velocity meta plastic psychedelic or biopsychic plastic lawn furniture racing has risen sharply in popularity over the last two scenic weeks here's what bsz hypercorporation thinks about it so far bsz: modem lawn furniture carries a biopsychic charge caused by excess chillaxing on the job by sokalled big rnd scientists lime green lawn furniture is well known in scene for its ability to store the energy fields exuded from big scientists and as such are often used as disposable batteries for bizarre reality warping experiments however due to this stored charge such objects can start to move on their own reaching dangerously high speeds even telejumping or warping to semi random locations around scene this can cause catastrophic structural architectural damage and grievous personal injury upon impact such furniture immediately dissipates into local dimensional spacetime with a loud fluid sounding pop to mitigate such unexpected often embarrassing embedded cranial encounters with hypersonic objects highly illegal donut shaped lawn furniture racing tracks constructed from refined swansonite are regularly jerry rigged in secure open locations in the vertical megacity gold 909 acting as potent biopsychic neo quantum energy dumps such juice boxes help draw in unruly lawn furniture from the surrounding rnd aether biomatrix and temporarily channel them into an arena where foolish patrons place multiple cross bets on say the exact time and scale of unexpected furniture arrival their relative speed on entry and precise angular velocity duration of their temporal being specially armored human ai drone cameras capture each facet of this intense lawn based action typical track side bets are placed while dressed in heavy lab armor say: 200 ecreds within the next five minutes a lime green plastic lawn chair will pop into local rnd space spin around the track at no less than three thousand times in under a minute before disappearing researcher orloff standing at the track ducks: yo that was close still there are any number of probabilistic and inherently poorly understandable factors indirectly affecting the likelihood of lawn furniture manifestation therefore the distance x away from a lawn racing track is no truer measure of one's safety which is forever relative one popular myth making the rounds among lawn racing patrons is that even thinking about the dangers of lawn furniture increases the likelihood of it making large terminal dents in one's idiot scientific brainpan this in turn however has lead to the recent rise in popularity of meta betting on survival rates of researchers who regularly bet on lawn furniture racing andor at least consider doing so obviously the problem then arises of how to consider researchers who bet on lime furniture without thinking about the dangers of lime furniture oneself and thereby attracting unwanted biopsychic cranial attention from often beautiful speeding slices of lime green lawn plastic luckily big science researcher henry swanson has come up with a temporary metaphysical solution which they tag the lime green lawn gambit as follows in which one freely admits that casual free admission of the inherently dangerous nature of high speed lime green lawn furniture is itself no safety guarantee therefore one may not get smacked upside the head with some merely because one freely admits its dangerous synthetic nature in a casual andor chillaxed scientific manner yet even if such a gambit itself exists this also does not decrease the likelihood of close high speed lime green encounters to say one regularly swims in shark tanks is not matter of time or space but merely expresses the fact bang bites still occur likewise illegal lime green lawn furniture racing is just out here with us right now fellow researcher dr orloff krankenwagen: wait is that it then smarties in scenius point out the absurdity of swanson's lime green gambit if it doesn't do anything to help one avoid getting green garden chair legs stuck through the center of one's forehead then what use is it to which big scientists might reply: well your lucky high velocity lime green plastic lawn furniture doesn't exist then at least not in any sense one would ordinarily call non scientific but then the entire non existent point and absurdity of swanson's limey lawn gambit faithfully mirrors and therefore potentially cancels out the absurdity of the immediate nonbeing of lime green lawn furniture then the heavy theoretical question arises: so why does lime green lawn furniture itself even not exist in the first place luckily bsz hypercorporation has been working for hours on an attractive low cost wipe clean lawn furniture design series featuring swansonite a neo quantum supersurface coating which acts as a bioplastipsychic circuit breaker thereby effectively preventing spontaneous high speed locomotion andor dimensional warp teleportation however even such a safety fuse mechanism only works 50 percent of time since its possible any bit of furniture approaching high biopsychic charge will immediately telewarp out from underneath its own coating and end up flying around somewhere else researchers are currently trying to permanently fuse swansonite with lime green lawn plastic but results have so far proved inconclusive quick take away message from all this lime green plastic drama: keep one's head low whenever busy with rnd playing it cool and kas u el just not too casual remember as too much in scene chillaxing charges furniture // [[republic of bob contents | imaginary pastime republic of bob]]