# How to Think like a Roman Emperor (book)
## Connect
🔼Topic:: [[Stoicism]]
🔼Topic:: [[Wellbeing (MOC)]]
## ✒️ Note-Making
### 💡Clarify
🔈 *Summary of main ideas*
1. **Cognitive dissonance** - good or bad stems from judgment, not from inherit part of the action
2. **Holistically** - people are more than their actions, and so are you. Consider circumstances. People (or you) might be wrong, acting on good intentions or succumbed to emotions or weaknesses
3. **Guidance** - what would your mentors say/do in this situation. Have mentors real or imaginary in your life, act with thoughtfulness and intention.
4. **stress inculcation** - prepare for the worst, and think of solutions. Treat challenges as a way to strengthen your mental durability. Try to look at things in perspective by asking yourself "so what?" usually it wont be as bad as we initially think.
5. **self awareness** - introspect daily to check if actions match your virtues
6. **practice agency** - emotions and urges will naturally arise, but you have the ability and freedom to decide how to respond
7. **connect** - to be wise is to see that we are all connected, strive to improve the life of people you meet, since they are your family, even those who have done you wrong
8. **be a student** - every situation, especially the bad ones, are an opportunity to grow, either by learning something new, or a chance to practice your virtues
### 🗒️Relate
⛓ *Life lessons, action items*
### 🔍Critique
✅ *by following this method, what will happen?*
the book was a good combination between philosophy and practical guide for stoicism and improving mental health in general, while including a nice section about the history of the roman emperor as we go along with him to see the challenges he faced and the way he chose to address them.
❌ *the logical jumps, holes or simply cases where it is wrong...*
the book was a bit repetitive, the same methods introduced in the first few chapters were used throughout the rest of the books, just in different cases, which didn't add a lot of value to the last third of the book.
🧱 *Implementations and limitations of it are...*
### 🗨️Review
💭 *my opinions on the book, the writers style...*
### 🖼️Outline
![[How to think like a roman emperor (book).webp]]
## 📒 Notes
### Intro
The main pillar of stoic philosophy is that we always have the (Related:: [[Agency|freedom of choice]]). External events can never affect our internal world and our actions, it is up to us to decide how to act and how to view things.
> [!Quote]- INTRODUCTION
> - If ancient philosophers were veritable warriors of the mind, their modern counterparts had become more like librarians of the mind, more interested in collating and organizing ideas than putting philosophy to work on a daily basis as a psychological practice.
> - “cognitive theory of emotion,” which holds that our emotions are mainly determined by our beliefs.
> - Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be; just be one.
### Chapter 1 - the Story of Stoicism
history of (Jump:: [[Marcus Aurelius]]) and stoicism, the main aspects of stoicism are described in general terms, mainly virtues and not clinging to things you cannot change.
In stoicism, we need to live in accordance with nature, and part of human nature is it's wisdom, so we should love it, use it, and try to improve it. (Related:: [[Life as Flow]])
*about the inherit value of external things*
**The wise man needs nothing, but uses what he has well, while the fool needs many things and uses them wrongly**. (Opposes:: [[Attachment]])
External things such as wealth, health and friends is preferred, but not good in themselves, because I can use those things for evils as much as good. I can spend all my money at the casino And end up poor and miserable. While it is not wrong to pursue those things, it is wrong if we value them more than our virtues. Money should never be more important than justice for example. (Opposes:: [[External Motivation]]) (Supports:: [[Addition by subtraction|Minimalism]])
*about the stoicism core principles*
**The stoic virtues are wisdom, courage, justice and moderation.**
Stoicism supports universality, since we are all humans with a capacity to reason, and it is this capacity that connects us, should we should be considered as brothers, as equals. (Related:: [[Justice]]) (Related:: [[Inequality]])
(How would they treat mentally disabled? i.e. those who are incapable of reasoning)
> [!Quote]- THE DEAD EMPEROR
> - To learn how to die, according to the Stoics, is to unlearn how to be a slave.
> - As long as we can grasp the truth firmly enough that certain misfortunes are inevitable, we no longer feel the need to worry about them. Nor do we yearn for things that we accept are impossible, as long as we can see with crystal clarity that it is futile to do so. As death is among the most certain things in life, to a man of wisdom it should be among the least feared.
> - From the moment we’re born we’re constantly dying, not only with each stage of life but also one day at a time.
> - Realizing this makes it easier to let go: we can no more hold on to life than grasp the waters of a rushing stream.
> - External advantages such as wealth may create more opportunities but in themselves they simply don’t have the kind of value that can ever define a good life.
> - We therefore have an innate duty to protect our ability to reason and to use it properly. When we reason well about life and live rationally, we exhibit the virtue of wisdom. Living in agreement with Nature, in part, means fulfilling our natural potential for wisdom; that’s what it means for us to flourish as human beings.
> - The Stoics adopted the Socratic division of cardinal virtues into wisdom, justice, courage, and moderation.
> - things like health, wealth, and reputation are, at most, advantages or opportunities rather than being good in themselves.
> - The Stoic Sage, or wise man, needs nothing but uses everything well; the fool believes himself to “need” countless things, but he uses them all badly.
> - the wise man extends moral consideration to all rational creatures and views them, in a sense, as his brothers and sisters.
> - Stoics did not believe that unhealthy emotions should be suppressed; rather, they should be replaced by healthy ones.
### Chapter 2 - how to Speak Wisely
Stoicism is not about cancelling your emotions, but rather replacing the negative emotions with positives emotions (Supports:: [[Emotional Aikido]]). The **bad emotions will come, the question is how do we respond to them** (Reminds:: [[Life is pain]]).
by practicing stoicism we can generate (Related:: [[Emotional Resilience]]) from the outside world.
in order to take away the power from negative emotions, and avoid creating unnecessary anxiety and (Jump:: [[Stress]]), we first must realize that these negative emotions are not contained in the external event, but rather are the result of our (Jump:: [[Judgment]]), of our (Related:: [[Subjective Reality]]) on life. i.e **"good" and "bad" are judgmental values, not facts.**
one way of doing that is to ask ourselves "so what", after something "bad" happens. usually the damage is not as bad as we think, or it is entirely in our heads.
asking "so what" can also help us figure out what is the next best step, moving away from focusing on the negative event, to a possible solution. (Related:: [[introspection]])
this brings us to the second step is to view each situation as a potential lesson, opportunity to grow, to present strength or develop emotional resilience. (Related:: [[Growth Mindset]])
speaking truth is helpful as long as the message gets through.
> [!Quote]- THE MOST TRUTHFUL CHILD IN ROME
> - true strength consisted of one’s ability to show kindness, not violence or aggression.
> - the human capacity for thought allows us to perpetuate our worries beyond these natural bounds. Reason, our greatest blessing, is also our greatest curse.
> - What matters, in other words, isn’t what we feel but how we respond to those feelings.
> - when we assign intrinsic values like “good” or “bad” to external events, we’re behaving irrationally and even exhibiting a form of self-deception.
> - nothing is so conducive to greatness of mind, he said, as the ability to examine events rationally and view them realistically by stripping them down to their essential characteristics in this way.
> - We could look at the world through positive rose-tinted glasses or sad blue ones and just assume that what we see is how things are. However, we can also look at the glasses themselves and realize that they color our vision. Noticing how our thoughts and beliefs tinge our perception of the world is a prerequisite for changing them
> - It’s a contradiction to believe both that you must do something and also that it’s not within your power to do so.
### Chapter 3 - how to Follow Your Values
in order to live by your values, to be true to yourself and not a slave to your emotions, you need to develop (Jump:: [[Self-awareness]]), same as walking on stones without shoes, be mindful of your actions and emotions. (Related:: [[intentionality|mindfulness]])
#### Passively:
be always open for (Jump:: [[Feedback]]), but give different weights to those opinions based on the character and the evidence based history of that person.
#### Actively:
search for (Related:: [[Mentor]]), real or imaginary, that embodies the values and attitudes you want to develop in yourself. ask yourself "what would x do/say" in this situation, imagine that important decisions are being discussed in a panel of all your mentors.
#### Periodically
(Linked: [[Periodical Review]]):
develop a daily cycle of self-learning.
in the morning, ask yourself what are you planning to do today, and which values will accompany you today, what would the ideal valuable day be like.
in the evening, ask yourself how the day went, what did you do well, what do you still need to improve and implement it towards tomorrow.
> [!Quote]- CONTEMPLATING THE SAGE
> - It’s prudent to listen carefully to most of the people we meet in life but not to give equal weight to all opinions. Rather, by welcoming criticism and accepting it dispassionately, we can gradually learn to sort through it rationally and discern good advice from bad.
> - Your first step is to write down the virtues exhibited by someone you respect. Listing the qualities you most admire in another person,
> - Imagine yourself coping with the challenges you expect to face and exhibiting the virtues you want to learn. You’ll probably find it more helpful to picture yourself improving in small increments rather than immediately mastering the whole situation.
> - Try brainstorming small ways in which you can do things that satisfy your core values each day.
### Chapter 4 - how to Conquer Desires
#### Happiness
according to stoics, wellbeing in life is:
1. **internal** - it is an intrinsic part of your life, and not depended on external things such as food or sex. it comes from you and the sense of satisfaction from your life and your attitude. (Related:: [[Happiness is an internal state]])
2. **active** - happiness is the by product of following your values and acting according to your wisdom and your nature, it is not something passive that happens to you (Supports:: [[Proactiveness]])
3. **not a goal in itself** - the goal in life is to follow your nature, develop your wisdom and acting according to your values. Happiness would be a by product of that, but it cannot be a goal in itself if it comes at the expense of the main goal
4. **external happiness is fine, with moderation** - same as alcohol is not a problem unless you are an alcoholic, the same with all those external ways of pleasure. ironically, usually those who consume too much of these things become addicted and the pleasure they receive from it drops, compared to those who enjoy those things with moderation and awareness. (Supports:: [[Happiness is contentment]])
#### How to Replace Bad Habits with Good
1. **know which habits are good and which are bad** - usually it is obvious but not always. compare your habits to your values, ask yourself does these lead you to become a better you or rather distract you from what's important
2. **be aware of the triggers** - notice the (Aka:: [[Priming|Cue]]) for each habit, you can either do it a daily review, or a simple mental note of it, what state of mind/ environment /actions trigger the bad habits?
3. **use** (Jump:: [[Cognitive Distancing]]) - separate between the cue and the reward. ask yourself what would your mentor say about it, or imagine it in a less appealing way (instead of - this chocolate is amazing, say to yourself - this is a 90% fat plant based synthetic food).
4. **act differently** - separate the cue from the action. try either to avoid the action completely, or to do something different instead. ask yourself what would your mentor do in this situation, or whether there are better activities to fill your time with, things that will help you grow and become who you are meant to be.
> [!Quote]- THE CHOICE OF HERCULES
> - People still confuse pleasure with happiness and often find it difficult to imagine another perspective on life. By contrast, the Stoics taught Marcus that we all seek a deeper and more lasting sense of fulfillment. They taught him that this could only be obtained by realizing our inner potential and living in accord with our core values,
> - Pleasures, as we’ve seen, can blind us to their consequences
> - Stoic joy is profound. It comes from achieving your fundamental goal in life and experiencing genuine fulfillment, which make ordinary pleasures seem trivial by comparison.
> - The Stoics tended to view joy not as the goal of life, which is wisdom, but as a by-product of it, so they believed that trying to pursue it directly might lead us down the wrong path if it’s sought at the expense of wisdom.
> - The wise man loves life and is grateful for the opportunities it gives him, but he accepts that everything changes and nothing lasts forever.
> - To break a habit you must have a desire for change. However, it’s possible to increase your desire for change, so that’s something you should work on.
> - Your first goal should be to study yourself and identify the trigger or “high-risk” situations where the problem tends to arise.
> - Learning to catch things at an early stage makes it easier to derail the chain of behaviors that leads to the full desire or passion emerging. Raising awareness of the subtle elements of a behavior also makes it feel less automatic.
> - virtue is its own reward. We aim for wisdom and strength of character not because we’re hoping to gain something else but simply because that’s who we want to be in life.
### Chapter 5 - how to Tolerate Pain
we should focus on the limits of pain, instead of it's experience. if the pain is too much to bear, it would end us quickly, otherwise it means that we can tolerate it.
another way to cope is to do "exposure inoculation", **by exposing ourselves and facing small amounts of stress/pain, we can strengthen ourselves and our endurance when bigger pains will present themselves.** (Related:: [[Prevention]])
Same in previous chapter, we can distance ourselves from the pain, treat it only as facts and not as a devastating harmful thing for us. To separate between the mind and the body (but pain actually causes a chemical reaction in the brain, can we truly separate them?) (Related:: [[Mind-Body Duality]])
> [!Quote]- GRASPING THE NETTLE
> - Our main concern should always remain the use we are making right now, from moment to moment, of our own mind.
> - by focusing instead on the limits of your pain, whether in terms of duration or severity, you can develop a mind-set that’s more oriented toward coping and less overwhelmed by worry or negative emotions about your condition.
> - stress inoculation: you learn to build up resistance to a bigger problem by voluntarily exposing yourself repeatedly to something similar, albeit in smaller doses or a milder form.
> - complaining and chattering too much about our problems just makes them worse, and, more importantly, it harms our character.
> - Stoics can still “prefer” to avoid pain and illness when possible. Once it’s already happening, though, they try to accept the fact with indifference.
> - Viewing things as changeable, like a flowing river, can help weaken our emotional attachment to them.
> - Struggling to suppress, control, or eliminate unpleasant feelings adds another layer to our misery and frequently backfires by making the original problem worse.
### Chapter 6 - how to Relinquish Fear
(Jump:: [[Fear]]) is future based, grounded in outcomes that we only have some effect on. A way to reduce the anxiety and fear sensations, is to increase our immunization to it by doing the following:
1. **cognitive distance** - If you acted the best you could, then the failure is not your fault. External factors are always in play, you just have to keep your attention on your attitude.
2. **focus on the present** - Since the fear stems from a possible future, it means that it might hurt us even if it won't come to pass. Keep your attention on your actions right now
3. **imagine your worst case scenario** - By imagining it, it will be as an exposure therapy, reducing the default stress levels. It will also make it easier to find creative solutions to the problem once the stress is out of the way. (Reminds:: [[Pre-Mortem]])
> [!Quote]- THE INNER CITADEL AND WAR OF MANY NATIONS
> - We say “reserve clause,” incidentally, because our expectations are reserved for what is within our sphere of control. We’re pursuing an external result “with the reservation” that the outcome is not entirely up to us.
> - The worried mind is always getting too far ahead of itself; it is always in suspense over the future. The Stoic Sage, by contrast, is grounded in the here and now.
### Chapter 7 - how to Conquer Anger
to avoid anger, we should follow these tips:
1. **cognitive distancing** - understand that anger stems from judgment, and not the event itself.
2. **Connect with others** - according to stoicism, the live in accordance with logic and nature is to be a social creature. it is a deep part of us to create connections and engage with others. even if they anger us, we should see it as an opportunity to grow and practice virtues rather than cause harm or disconnect. (Related:: [[Human is a social being]])
3. **remember that people are not just their action, they are a whole** - meaning that they could be doing this "bad" thing because they believe it is good, or perhaps they are making a mistake, or being influenced by their circumstances or upbringings. assuming good intentions instead of mal intentions will often lead to more conflict resolutions and better results (and feelings) overall, and mostly, it will probably be more accurate. (Related:: [[Just World Bias]])
4. **You might be wrong** - in accordance with previous point, you might also be wrong, doing something that seems right to you but wrong to others. (Supports:: [[Humility]])
5. **Think long term** - is this worth being angry for? (Supports:: [[Zoom out]])
6. **remember that anger harms you most** - since it turns you into a different person, one that is not acting according to virtues.
7. **Nobody is perfect** - it is only rational to expect that someone someday will cause as anger, so we shouldn't be as surprised or rattled when that happens.
> [!Quote]- TEMPORARY MADNESS
> - the wise man will not get upset about things that lie beyond his direct control, such as other people’s actions.
> - we have a duty to live wisely and harmoniously with our fellow humans in order to fulfill our natural potential and to flourish.
> - we should be prepared to meet many foolish and vicious people in life and to accept this as inevitable. We should not meet disagreeable people and enemies with anger, but treat this as an opportunity to exercise our own wisdom and virtue.
> - vicious people fundamentally lack self-love and are alienated from themselves. We must learn to empathize with them and see them as the victims of misguided beliefs or errors of judgment, not as malicious.
> - If events will seem trivial in the future when we look back on them, then why should we care strongly about them now? This doesn’t mean that we should do nothing. Indeed, by remaining calm, we can plan our response better and take action.
> - it often requires more effort to deal with the consequences of losing our temper than it does just to tolerate the very acts with which we’re angry.
> - The actions of others are external to us and cannot touch our character, but our own anger transforms us into a different sort of person, almost like an animal, and for Stoics that’s the greater harm.
> - When we’re surprised that a bad person acts badly, then we’re to blame for expecting the impossible.
### Chapter 8 - Death
The wise man shouldn't fear (Jump:: [[Death]]). Because:
1. He will never experience it, since it is a lack of experience
2. if you're in pain, this shall release you from it. If your life is well, then go in peace being satisfied with it
3. death is the final step in our ever changing life, we should except that
4. it is part of nature, we are then reconnecting with our inner nature, our godly part that unites us with everything else
> [!Quote]- DEATH AND THE VIEW FROM ABOVE
> - The lips of mankind can grant you neither fame nor glory worth seeking. What matters is how I face this moment,
> - Fear of death does us more harm than death itself because it turns us into cowards, whereas death merely returns us to Nature. The wise and good enjoy life, without a doubt, but nevertheless are unafraid of dying.
> - For everything comes ultimately from one source and returns there taking another form.
> - We possess the same divine spark, yet it lies buried deep within us, and we live as though imprisoned, anchored down in the mud by our own folly and greed.
> - Man was meant to be like this: striving his whole life with patient endurance to cultivate the pure light of wisdom within himself and allowing it to shine forth for the benefit of others. Alone and yet at one with the community of fellow men around him, living wisely and in concord with them.
> - When we cut our ties to the past and the future and center ourselves in the present moment, we set our soul free from external things, leaving it to invest itself wholly in fulfilling its own nature.
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