# First Things First (book)
## ✒️ Note-Making
### 🔗Connect
🔼Topic:: [[Triage]]
### 💡Clarify
🔈 *Summary of main ideas*
1. **Discover your compass** - Through journaling, through asking yourself what are the roles you wish to fulfill in your life (like partner, friend), and thinking about your life's mission, what brings you meaning and what are you capable of doing in your life, you can discover your internal compass.
2. **Compass over busy work** - It should be our internal compass that dictates our priorities and our schedule, instead of focusing on the illusions of busy work, of the urgent, and of things that don't contribute to our core principles.
3. **Be true to yourself and others** - We are social beings, and other people are deeply tied to our core principles and happiness, which is why we have to treat others not as means to fulfill our goals, not as objects to be used, but as people, that needs to be understood, and that we will all benefit from finding the win-win situations.
### 🗒️Relate
⛓ *Life lessons, action items*
### 🔍Critique
✅ *by following this method, what will happen?*
❌ *the logical jumps, holes or simply cases where it is wrong...*
🧱 *Implementations and limitations of it are...*
### 🗨️Review
💭 *my opinions on the book, the writers style...*
The ideas are nice but only the first 20-30% are relevant, the rest is just repetition. Filled with unnecessary examples that don't promote the main idea and just preaches to the choir.
Sometimes the order of the chapters doesn't makes sense, like a collection of posts that are not necessarily related.
### 🖼️Outline
![[First Things First (book).webp]]
## 📒 Notes
### Introduction
> [!Quote]- Introduction
> - Basing our happiness on our ability to control everything is futile. While we do control our choice of action, we cannot control the consequences of our choices.
> - more important than how fast you’re going, is where you’re headed.
> - a meaningful life is not a matter of speed or efficiency. It’s much more a matter of what you do and why you do it, than how fast you get it done.
### Three Generations of time Management
1. **Wishlist** - a simple list of things I would like to do, no integrated process or full commitment. What I haven't finished today I'll do tomorrow. It gives flexibility on one hand but there are a lot of errors on the other hand. our "first thing" is simply what lies ahead of us in that moment
2. **Calendar** - Filling up our calendar with tasks. We have improved efficiency and order but we have no sense of directions. The goal is to "tick" to tasks, productivity for the sake of task completion, without an end goal.
3. **Prioritizing tasks** - our tasks are not only scheduled by also prioritized. Less urgent tasks are ignored or pushed back. There is not enough emphasis on choosing the right goals, on viewing people are people and not just machines, on developing the right virtues. Quality time over spending time. Trying to control the world by controlling their productivity.
> [!Quote]- The Clock And The Compass
> - We need to constantly be asking ourselves, “What is needed out there, and what is my unique strength, my gift?”
> - Our struggle to put first things first can be characterized by the contrast between two powerful tools that direct us: the clock and the compass. The clock represents our commitments, appointments, schedules, goals, activities—what we do with, and how we manage our time. The compass represents our vision, values, principles, mission, conscience, direction—what we feel is important and how we lead our lives.
> - First Generation. The first generation is based on “reminders.” It’s “go with the flow,” but try to keep track of things you want to do with your time—write
> - Second Generation. The second generation is one of “planning and preparation.” It’s characterized by calendars and appointment books. It’s efficiency, personal responsibility, and achievement in goal setting, planning ahead, and scheduling future activities and events.
> - Third Generation. The third generation approach is “planning, prioritizing, and controlling.” If you’re in this generation, you’ve probably spent some time clarifying your values and priorities.
> - “First things” for people in this generation are essentially whatever happens to be in front of them.
> - “First things” for people in the second generation are a function of calendar and goals.
> - Fundamental to putting first things first in our lives is leadership before management: “Am I doing the right things?” before “Am I doing things right?”
> - What are the underlying paradigms that produce these kinds of results—efficiency, control, management, competence, chronos? Are these accurate maps of the territory? Do they fulfill the expectations they create around quality of life? The very fact that we invest increasing effort in techniques and tools based on these paradigms—and that the fundamental problem remains (in many cases, in fact, it’s exacerbated)—is a good indication that the basic paradigms are flawed.
> - The way we see (our paradigm) leads to what we do (our attitudes and behaviors); and what we do leads to the results we get in our lives. So if we want to create significant change in the results, we can’t just change attitudes and behaviors, methods or techniques; we have to change the basic paradigms out of which they grow.
> - That’s why attempts to “install” total quality or empowerment in organizations are unsuccessful. They can’t be installed; they have to be grown. They emerge naturally out of the paradigms that create them.
> - More than an evolution, we need a revolution. We need to move beyond time management to life leadership—to a fourth generation based on paradigms that will create quality-of-life results.
> - The fourth generation is based on the “importance” paradigm. Knowing and doing what’s important rather than simply responding to what’s urgent is foundational to putting first things first.
> - Urgency addiction is a self-destructive behavior that temporarily fills the void created by unmet needs. And instead of meeting these needs, the tools and approaches of time management often feed the addiction.
> - urgency itself is not the problem. The problem is that when urgency is the dominant factor in our lives, importance isn’t.
> - The problem comes when we operate primarily from a paradigm of urgency rather than a paradigm of importance. When we operate out of the importance paradigm, we live in Quadrants I and II. We’re out of Quadrants III and IV, and as we spend more time in preparation, prevention, planning, and empowerment, we decrease the amount of time we spend putting out fires in Quadrant I.
> - If you’re looking for time to spend in Quadrant II, Quadrant III is the primary place to get it.
> - To get at the chronic issues requires a different kind of thinking. It’s like the difference between “prevention” and “treatment” thinking in medicine.
> - At the heart of the fourth generation are three fundamental ideas that empower us to answer that question: 1. the fulfillment of the four human needs and capacities 2. the reality of “true north” principles 3. the potentiality of the four human endowments
> - The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase “to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy.” The need to live is our physical need for such things as food, clothing, shelter, economic well-being, health. The need to love is our social need to relate to other people, to belong, to love, to be loved. The need to learn is our mental need to develop and to grow. And the need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence, and contribution.
> - The more urgent things we try to do, the more we feed the addiction. We keep substituting the artificial “high” of the urgency fix for the deep satisfaction of effectively meeting our four fundamental needs.
> - Only as we see the interrelatedness and the powerful synergy of these four needs do we become empowered to fulfill them in a way that creates true inner balance, deep human fulfillment, and joy. Work has meaning, relationships have depth and growth, health becomes a resource to accomplish worthwhile purposes. By seeing the interrelatedness of these needs, we realize that the key to meeting an unmet need is in addressing, not ignoring the other needs.
> - The key to the fire within is our spiritual need to leave a legacy. It transforms other needs into capacities for contribution.
> - Life is no brief candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.
> - Our ability to create quality of life is a function of the degree to which our lives are aligned with extrinsic realities as we seek to fulfill the basic human needs.
> - Values will not bring quality of life results . . . unless we value principles. A vital part of the fourth generation is the humility to realize that there are “first things” that are independent of our values.
> - quality of life is not “me,” it’s “us”—that we live in an interdependent reality of abundance and potential that can only be realized when we interact with others in fully authentic, synergistic ways.
> - To understand the application may be to meet the challenge of the moment, but to understand the principle is to meet the challenge of the moment more effectively and to be empowered to meet a thousand challenges of the future as well.
> - Nature is evenly balanced. We cannot disturb her equilibrium, for we know that the law of Cause and Effect is the unerring and inexorable law of nature; but we do fail to find our own equilibrium as nations and as individuals, because we have not yet learned that the same law works as inexorably in human life and in society as in nature—that what we sow, we must inevitably reap.
> - The problems in life come when we’re sowing one thing and expecting to reap something entirely different.
> - the greatest fulfillment in improving ourselves comes in our empowerment to more effectively reach out and help others.
> - The development of each of the four endowments and the synergy between them is the core of personal leadership.
> - Keeping a personal journal is a high-leverage Quadrant II activity that significantly increases self-awareness and enhances all the endowments and the synergy among them.
> - Keeping a personal journal empowers you to see and improve, on a day-by-day basis, the way you’re developing and using your endowments. Because writing truly imprints the brain, it also helps you remember and apply the things you’re trying to do. In addition, it gives you a powerful contextual tool.
> - an educated conscience impacts every aspect of our lives.
> - One of the best ways to strengthen our independent will is to make and keep promises.
> - Our lives are the results of our choices. To blame and accuse other people, the environment, or other extrinsic factors is to choose to empower those things to control us.
> - The best way to predict your future is to create it.
> - the power to create quality life is not in any planner. It’s not in any technique or tool. And it’s not limited to our ability to plan a day. None of us is omniscient. We don’t know what opportunities, challenges, surprises, sorrows, or unexpected joys the next moment in our lives will bring. The power to create quality of life is within us—in our ability to develop and use our own inner compass so that we can act with integrity in the moment of choice—whether
### Time Management as a Paradigm Problem
Our problem with time management is an issue of choosing the right paradigm. Naturally, paradigms are a way in which we view the world (Jump:: [[Subjective Reality]]). This dictates our approach towards time management and accordingly our actions.
Therefore **a true change will not come from embracing a new method or tool, it must be a paradigm shift** (Related:: [[change starts from the inside out]]), especially **not looking at time and life as something we can completely control** (Related:: [[Life as Flow]]).
The third paradigm is tempting, it promises success to those who fall in line, but in the end it creates disappointment since it doesn't match the true paradigms of reality.
### Important Vs Urgent
we are addicted to the urgent, it gives us a false sense of meaning. (Jump:: [[Eisenhower matrix]])
Usually our attention is drawn to 1 and 3, the urgent quadrants, and 4 (not important and not urgent) is our guilty pleasure, like watching TV, snacking, etc...
instead **we should move time from 3 to 2. 2 is the long-term projects that will eventually improve our lives**, like goal planning, healthy lifestyle, financial habits, etc..
Spending more time in 2 should have reduce the size of 1 as well, since less things would be urgent. Like taking preventive measures instead of facing the results after the fact.
### Living according to Principles, not Methods
We need to go back to basics, to the natural things that brings us welfare, like (Aka:: [[Maslows pyramid]]). Physical security, fulfilment, etc...
By searching for these things we can find true happiness, and not view them as a zero-sum game. For example finding a job that is both meaningful, friends I can learn from them, etc...
These things are our needs, and the principals are the true north star of our lives.
Acting according to principals is what brings joy and life satisfaction, even more than the values and goals we set for ourselves.
like (Jump:: [[virtue theory]]), when we align ourselves by the principals, the rest would fall into places. Therefore **its important to talk about principals and not method, a method is too specific and without the right [[context]] it would not be helpful. By sticking to principles which can find on our own the best method for each situation.**
Some things in life are an illusion. usually its the easy things, the "shortcuts" we invent, like cramming before a test instead of actually learning the material, consumerism instead of saving for the future, meaningless relationships, etc... (Aka:: [[Platos Cave]])
what brings happiness is not these illusions but acting according to these characteristics:
1. Independence
2. (Jump:: [[Critical Thinking]])
3. (Jump:: [[Self-awareness]])
4. Compass
> [!Quote]- The Main Thing Is To Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing
> - As we learn to pause in the space between stimulus and response and consult our internal compass, we can face change squarely, confident that we’re being true to principle and purpose, and that we’re putting first things first in our lives.
> - Daily planning provides us with a limited view. It’s so “close up” that we’re often kept focused on what’s right in front of us. Urgency and efficiency take the place of importance and effectiveness. Weekly organizing, on the other hand, provides a broader context to what we do.
> - Much of our pain in life comes from the sense that we’re succeeding in one role at the expense of other, possibly even more important roles.
> - Balance among roles does not simply mean that you’re spending time in each role, but that these roles work together for the accomplishment of your mission.
> - these roles are not distinct “departments” of life. They form a highly interrelated whole. By identifying your roles, you’re not trying to break your life down and fit it into neat little boxes on a planning page. You’re creating a variety of perspectives from which to examine your life to ensure balance and harmony.
> - As you consider the most important activities in each role, begin to use your compass instead of the clock. Listen to your conscience. Focus on importance rather than urgency.
> - The key is to consistently do whatever builds your strength in these areas and increases your capacity to live, to love, to learn, and to leave a legacy.
> - An hour a day spent “sharpening your saw” creates the “private victory” that makes public victories possible.
> - Our Quadrant II goals are like the “big rocks.” If we put other activities—the water, sand, and gravel—in first, and then try to fit the big rocks in, not only will they not fit, we’ll end up making a pretty big mess in the process.
> - As you plan, prepare, build relationships, or enjoy quality recreation, you’ll find that you spend far less time picking up the broken pieces in Quadrant I or reacting to the urgent demands of others in Quadrant III. The ideal to work toward is eliminating III and IV. It’s spending time on important Quadrant I and II activities, and shifting more and more to the preparing, prevention, and empowering activities of Quadrant II.
> - a few moments at the beginning of the day to revisit your schedule, enabling you to get your bearings, check your compass, look at the day in the context of the week,
> - highlight, circle, or mark with an asterisk your most important priority.
> - Unless we learn from living, how are we going to keep from doing the same things—making the same mistakes, struggling with the same problems—week after week?
> - a tool that’s not in alignment with the paradigm can create ineffectiveness and frustration.
> - The Quadrant II organizing process reinforces the “importance” paradigm. The greatest value of the process is not what it does to your schedule, but what it does to your head.
> - It taps into the deep core of who we are and what we are about. It’s fueled by the realization of the unique contribution we have the capacity to make—the legacy we can leave. It clarifies purpose, gives direction, and empowers us to perform beyond our resources. We call it “passion” because this vision can become a motivating force so powerful it, in effect, becomes the DNA of our lives.
> - What qualities of character would you be remembered for? What outstanding contributions would they mention? Look around at the people there. What important difference have you made in their lives?
> - What you alone can contribute, no one else can contribute. Viktor Frankl said we don’t invent our mission; we detect it. It’s within us waiting to be realized.
> - Conscience not only puts us in touch with our own uniqueness; it also connects us with the universal true north principles that create quality of life. We can use conscience to align our values and strategies with principles, ensuring that both the ends and the means of our mission statement—both the contribution and the methods used in making the contribution—are principle-based.
> - The key to motivation is motive. It’s the why. It’s the deeper “yes!” burning inside that makes it easier to say no to the less important.
> - An empowering mission statement: represents the deepest and best within you. It comes out of a solid connection with your deep inner life. is the fulfillment of your own unique gifts. It’s the expression of your unique capacity to contribute. is transcendent. It’s based on principles of contribution and purpose higher than self. addresses and integrates all four fundamental human needs and capacities. It includes fulfillment in physical, social, mental, and spiritual dimensions. is based on principles that produce quality-of-life results. Both the ends and the means are based on true north principles. deals with both vision and principle-based values. It’s not enough to have values without vision—you want to be good, but you want to be good for something. On the other hand, vision without values can create a Hitler. An empowering mission statement deals with both character and competence; what you want to be and what you want to do in your life. deals with all the significant roles in your life. It represents a lifetime balance of personal, family, work, community—whatever roles you feel are yours to fill. 8. is written to inspire you—not to impress anyone else. It communicates to you and inspires you on the most essential level.
> - An empowering mission statement is not a “to do” to be checked off. To be empowering, it has to become a living document, part of our very nature so that the criteria we’ve put into it are also into us, into the way we live our lives day by day.
> - Vision is the fundamental force that drives everything else in our lives. It impassions us with a sense of the unique contribution that’s ours to make. It empowers us to put first things first, compasses ahead of clocks, people ahead of schedules and things. Creating and integrating an empowering personal mission statement is one of the most important Quadrant II investments we can make.
> - Set Quadrant II time each week to cultivate a rich inner life, to nurture a quiet place within yourself where you can connect with your own inner compass. • Schedule a personal retreat to go through the Mission Statement Workshop (Appendix A) and write a personal mission statement. • Schedule time to evaluate and revise your current mission statement. • Commit your mission statement to memory. • Set a daily “sharpen the saw” goal to visualize yourself living your mission statement. • Review your mission statement each week before you begin to organize. • Keep a daily journal record of how your experiences, your choices, and your decisions are affected by your personal mission statement. • Read mission statements written by other people throughout history. Consider the impact of these statements on their lives and on society. • Help your children or others whose lives you touch to create their own mission statements. Nurture vision in others.
> - Balance isn’t either/or; it’s and.
> - We can think win-win with all the roles in our lives, to see them as parts of a highly interrelated whole.
> - Our roles become the channels through which we live, love, learn, and leave a legacy.
> - Each role is vitally important. Success in one role can’t justify failure in another.
> - Writing our roles each week keeps them in our awareness and helps us pay attention to all the important dimensions of our life. But that does not necessarily mean that we set a goal in every role every week. Nor does it mean that our roles are necessarily the same each week, or that we address all roles every week.
> - Primary balance is the inner balance between our physical, social, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. There’s no balance in life without balance in our inner life—without the synergy created when living, loving, learning, and leaving a legacy coalesce. • Secondary balance is in our roles. It’s a synergistic balance, a sometimes seasonal imbalance, as the parts work together to create a greater whole. • The P/PC balance is the balance between developing and doing that empowers us to do more effectively by increasing our capacity to do.
> - Goals that are connected to our inner life have the power of passion and principle.
> - The commitments we make in a moment of enthusiasm don’t have the sustaining power to carry us all the way to successful achievement of our goals. The key to motivation is motive. It’s the “why.” It’s what gives us the energy to stay strong in hard moments. It gives us the strength to say “no” because we connect with a deeper “yes!” burning inside.
> - Doing the right thing for the right reason in the right way is the key to quality of life, and that can only come through the power of an educated conscience that aligns us with vision, mission, and true north.
> - To have the self-awareness to know the difference between the good and the best and to act based on mission, conscience, and principles is to make the most significant deposits in our Personal Integrity Account.
> - Through conscience, we connect with the passion of vision and mission and the power of principles. • Through creative imagination, we envision possibility and synergistic, creative ways to achieve it. • Through self-awareness, we set goals with realistic stretch and stay open to conscience-driven change. • Through independent will, we make purposeful choice and carry it out; we have the integrity to walk our talk.
> - The objective is to use our creative imagination to come up with synergistic, principle-based ways to accomplish goals that create even greater results than would be achieved if the goals were accomplished separately.
> - Life is one indivisible whole. As we make connections between the various aspects of our lives and our overall sense of purpose, we discover that renewal in any role creates renewal in other roles as well. At
> - The successful experiences most of us would like to have in life are rarely an accident. They are almost always an achievement, the result of careful planning and thorough preparation.
> - over the weekend you spent a quality half hour going through the Quadrant II process and connecting with your deep inner life. You reviewed your mission and your roles; you identified important goals. You translated them into an action plan for the week. Then, as the day began, you reviewed your plan for the day, quickly re-connected with importance, and made any conscience-directed change you felt you should make. You’re convinced that you’ve identified “first things” and have a good plan to put them first during the next twenty-four hours of your life.
> - Over time, our choices become habits of the heart. And, more than any other factor, these habits of the heart affect our time and the quality of our lives.
> - We pause between stimulus and response to proactively choose a response that is deeply integrated with principles, needs, and capacities.
> - As we learn to ask with intent, listen without excuse, and act with courage, we build our ability to live a principle centered life.
> - Evaluation is the final step—and the first step—in a living and learning cycle that creates an upward spiral of growth.
### Journaling
the best way to make sure we are acting based on these principles is by (Aka:: [[Journaling]]). That way we can detect patterns, understand ourselves, ask the right questions and plan a better vision for our future, a plan for a better self.
(Jump:: [[Periodical Review]]) is a good way of focusing on quadrant 2, focuses us on the larger picture instead of the "day to day". To do a good weekly review:
1. *What is your "defined goal"* - the important things in your life that you want to do more of, the purpose of your existence.
2. *What are the roles in your life* - for example: parent, partner, teacher... self development is also such a role, because we all have to focus not only on brining results but also improving the systems that produce these results, "the sharpen the pencil". **Balancing different roles doesn't necessarily means spending equal amount of time on each, but rather look for the synergy between them that benefits our goal the most.** (Related:: [[A person is a community]])
3. *What is the most important thing in each of those roles* - what would help us build our strength? increase our ability to learn, live, love and leave a legacy.
4. *Schedule these activities in your calendar* - give it more time than you think it takes, because life always brings unexpected events, and to make sure you don't (Jump:: [[Burnout]]). These are the activates that should come first in your life since they are the most important, the 1 quadrant.
5. *Plan the day* - think what would be your "first think", how does that relate to your weekly plan, differentiate between activities that must be done at a certain time and those who don't
6. *weekly review* - ask yourself how the week was, what went well, what didn't, did you manage to focus on those "first things"?
the goal of working in quadrant 2 is not so that you plan your time better, but rather have a different view on live and your goals, by changing the paradigm, the rest would follow.
### Your Personal Mission
**Your vision should come from true things, not illusions, not others' expectations on want you can/should or shouldn't do. Find something that brings you true satisfaction in life.**
A powerful personal goal is: (Related:: [[Life's Mission]])
1. representing the best and deepest part of my identify, a stable connection with my inner self
2. its a fulfilment of my special abilities, one way of contributing to the world
3. It is motivated by a will to support and improve the world.
4. It answers my need to live, love, learn and leave a mark. It fulfils me mentally, spiritually, socially and physically.
5. It is a synergy between our different roles in our lives
6. it inspires us.
Goal settings has advantages as well as disadvantages.
Disadvantages:
1. it makes us abandoned the other parts of our life
2. It causes despair if we don't succeed
3. it causes a sense of emptiness if we do.
Advantages:
1. goals give us motivation to improve and do more. (Related:: [[Intrinsic Motivation]])
Therefore, **goals should be integrated within our personal mission, something that comes from our true identity and truth**. (Related:: [[Trust the Process]])
A way to detect our goal is to ask "what, why and how".
the *what* defines the desired outcome. the *Why* connects it to our roles and personal mission, the *how* helps us overcome illusions of success.
> [!Quote]- The Synergy Of Interdependence
> - quality of life is, by nature, interdependent.
> - The fourth generation is a “people” paradigm. More than the efficient, mechanical management of “things,” it’s focused on effective, synergistic interaction with people.
> - “to win” does not mean somebody else has to lose; it means we accomplish our objectives. And so many more objectives can be accomplished when we cooperate rather than compete.
> - Before we speak, we listen. We leave our own autobiography and invest deeply in genuinely understanding their point of view.
> - Real listening shows respect. It creates trust. As we listen, we not only gain understanding; we also create the environment to be understood.
> - Anytime we think the problem is “out there,” that thought is the problem. We disempower ourselves.
### Us and the External World
Our freedom of choice is between the stimulus and the response (Related:: [[Agency|Freedom of response]]) (Related:: [[Stoicism]]). If we act without thinking, we will probably act based on external pressure (Aka:: [[Social Environment]]), stigmas, the way others perceive us or their expectations, or stick to bad habits.
We have to take a pause and listen to our inner voice, see which decision matches our personal mission and values. Like virtue theory, the more we act with self awareness, the more we will have better habits for making better decisions, which will make the next good decision easier to make.
What is true for the self is true for the way we interact with others. If we treat others as either an object, a distraction, or something to be used, we will miss the good in others. We should treat others as people since they are also moved and act by the same principles as us (Related:: [[Immanuel Kant (philosopher)|Immanuel Kant]]). **People are the source, the path, and the goal for fulfilling our inner mission so any role we will take will probably include others in it.** We owe others the quality of our live, since we benefit from their labor, creative thinking, and worldview that has brought change and welfare into our lives. (Related:: [[Human is a social being]])
to have better relations with others:
1. look for the (Aka:: [[win win situations]]), look for the synergy
2. for try to understand, and only then to be understood
%%
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```
%%