# Blame
## Notes
when we blame others, it's a sign that we fail to (Missing:: [[Acceptance|accept]]) that we can't control others, that we can only control ourselves. We operate with certain rules in places, binding others without their knowledge (Reminds:: [[sense seeking creatures]]).
We feel as if we (Aka:: [[Attachment|own]]) something, like we deserve certain outcomes, or behaviors, so shift our (Jump:: [[Expectations]]) accordingly as if they would happen for certain, which leads to (Jump:: [[Disappointment]]) when reality is different than we wanted it to be. We treat as if the world revolves (Supports:: [[Self Bias|ourselves]]), not even thinking about the possibility of others having different viewpoints, ideas or values.
It turns us into (Supports:: [[Helplessness|victims]]), by shifting the focus from "what can we do about it " (Missing:: [[Proactiveness]]) to "why I am right" (Aka:: [[Conformation Bias]]). It nullifies the power of our (Weakens:: [[Emotions as decision heuristics|emotions]]) as catalysts for action because we (Jump:: [[Anger|rage]]) without changing our lives, only pushing us towards (Jump:: [[Depression]]). We place the (Opposes:: [[Responsibility]]) for solving the situation entirely on the other party, while thinking that we are completely (Aka:: [[Just World Bias|in the right]])
When we (Opposes:: [[Apology|forgive]]), it is for our own benefit as much as it is for the other party. It frees us to move on, to accept the life we have and letting go of the life we wanted that would never happen.
Blame focuses on the past, we want to focus on the future instead. What can we do about the situation, and how we can reduce such cases in the future. How do we need to change or act differently, as much (or more) than others do.
## Visual
![[Blame.webp]]
## Connections
```dataviewjs
const queryPath = "Extras/Queries/connections_query.js"
const queryContent = await dv.io.load(queryPath)
dv.executeJs(queryContent);
```
## Overview
🔼Topic:: [[Emotions (MOC)]]
↩️Origin:: [[Hidden Brain]]
🔗Link:: [link](https://share.snipd.com/episode/2e163b35-055a-4cfa-ad12-501b70dcb7b0)
%%
# Excalidraw Data
## Text Elements
Blame ^JkP7NYZP
His fault ^P6jdNHkq
their fault ^nsf3b7Qf
your fault ^t33XtzzR
her fault ^ZFpEbVyV
my
fault ^9arhVQXU
When we're quick to point fingers
blaming everyone but us
turning into a victim ^JZhOaUgy
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