The diary of Eurydice, or as you discover upon open the diary to the "If lost return to-" information, Kasani Matsui from L.A, CA. The handwriting in the book is neat and shows an attention to detail. Entry One: The entry declares that she's just started school after moving back to the US after living abroad. > "I met a girl who goes to raves every week apparently; I want to make friends here since I've been away so long. I said I'd go and she gave me some bracelets to bring to do "trades" while we're there. I don't really know why but I kind of want to flake on her. I won't, but it is... hard. I haven't made friends like this before. Even the girls I met over in Kyoto were always distant, something about me not being from there and being mixed. I tried not to let it bother me but I'm just... I don't know. I guess I'm worried that it's gonna happen again after I start getting comfortable with being friends with them." Entry Two: The entry is from close to four years after her first year at college. > "I start at the firm dad got me that internship with last summer. I really wanted to try and find something overseas in Europe but... whatever. That festival I went to last summer behind his back was so fun and I really, really miss my friends. I just feel so alone here after coming back to CA. I met a few other interns during the summer but they're more interested in coke than music when it comes to concerts. I just want to hang out with Christina again and go see some new groups like the old days. I never realized how much I needed her to open up but these guys, cause of _course_ it's mostly guys, were so fucking stale. I don't want to just talk about marketing and human resource disasters. I don't want to fucking be here. My dad lost his job after the contract with Atilla ran out and now I'm stuck in this soulless career with nothing going for me." Entry Three: She's been working at the firm for a while, it's 2046 > "I can't keep doing this. I have to quit from here or I'm gonna go crazy. I put my day of notice in and dad immediately calls me and starts yelling at me again. I'm already on my way back to L.A. (SF is so fucking gross these days.) He told me I was a failure as if he has any idea what I've given up to try and be the perfect daughter he wanted. I couldn't care less if he fucked off and died. The guys at the office all tried to ask me out to dinner to find out what happened but nothing happened. Nothing ever happens. I can't do this. I need some sort of life. I can't keep just piddling along as if the whole fucking world didn't die off. I have nothing for me here. I have _nothing_ to look forward to ever. The only thing I ever look forward to is when I can sleep with a guy and get a dime bag of coke to get through the weekend sobbing while I listen to clips of me and Christina enjoying ourselves over in Berlin. I can't stand that I'm supposed to just act like everything I ever wanted wasn't taken from me just to make my dad happy. I have to get out of town and just... clear my mind. Maybe go on a bender and just let loose. I have barter for a whole year's lodgings and entertainment and I can try to figure out what I'm meant to do." Entry Four: This is the last entry that is coherent. > I met a guy, goes by Diego. He hooked me up with some free shit and just... listened. He actually listened to me. He told me about his daughter, about how he really, really missed her. He asked me if I had talked to my dad recently and... of course I haven't. I don't know how to talk to him if I tried. He doesn't want to see his "hErOiN cHiC" fuck up of a kid anyways. Ever since I got here all I do is chase that high that I had back then. Nothing works anymore. When we were talking he said I sounded like I needed rehab and offered to help me ween off of stuff with some sort of cut version of what I usually take. It looked like the stupid prop candy from Breaking Bad, and I really thought he was trying to make fun of me at first. He wasn't, apparently. Says it's some new medicine that him and his group of counselors have been working on. It's the clearest my mind has felt in a long time. It wasn't like coke or heroin; it felt like I was the only thing that existed, except I was starving. It felt like for once in a long, long time the void that has existed inside of my chest had company. I heard a voice, not in a hallucination way, but in a companionship way. He told me that there was other people like me; there were others who were starving for something. I can't say I'm gonna start talking to God, but when people talk about Christ... it felt like that. Entry Five: The writing that you see is hard to read at first, but the remnants of a sane mind help. > Diego and I have been working together for a bit now and I think it's really helping. I haven't eaten for a few weeks, and he let me in on a secret; the voice I heard isn't God, it's someone like us. He's going to help me. He wants to make us whole. I have to help them, though. He's starving, he needs more of us. He wants me to find space for him and to help bring more people to him. The longer we starve the more full we can be before our end. He taught me how to make more pearl so that we can help other people and he told me he was proud of how well I was doing. I never knew it could feel so nice to have a dad who was just proud of me for doing what I needed to do to help myself and others. Tags: #Canon #Karma #TheOutlierGroup #Technical