Running is a weird sport. You take what's considered a punishment during other sports' training, and do only that. For far longer. For all their talk about "runner's high", runners readily admit that they often really don't *feel* like running at that particular moment. I don't run. I cycle and weightlift, and though it's hard to find the time for it, I enjoy the act itself. It's different for runners - it's equally a mental game than it is a physical one, and maybe that's exactly the point. Murakami gives the runner's account, weaved into a memoir. He didn't necessarily set out to do a running memoir -- it's what came out: > It's also intended as a wake-up call for the motivation that somewhere along the line went dormant. I'm writing, in other words, to put my thoughts in some kind of order. And in hindsight, in the final analysis, it's always in hindsight, this may very well end up a kind of memoir that centers on the act of running. ### His first marathon (and every marathon since) Murakami runs his first marathon in the original marathon route, from Athens to Marathon, as part of an article for a magazine. It's a moist Mediterranean August day, so he wakes up before dawn to get started. The photographer who is with him is actually surprised that he is going through with the whole thing. He has a miserable time. He's able to push through it, but the last four miles sound like an absolute hell. You would expect it's worse-than-normal, because it's his first marathon and under terrible circumstances. Wrong: he says every marathon more or less feels like this: > What makes me happy right now is knowing that I don't have to run another step. Whew, I don't have to run anymore. This was my first ever experience running nearly 26 miles, and happily, it was the last time I ever had to run 26 miles in such grueling conditions. [...] Re-reading the article I wrote at the time of this run in Greece, I've discovered that after twenty-some years, and as in many marathons later, the feelings I have when I run 26 miles are the same as back then. Even now, whenever I run a marathon, my mind goes through the same exact process. [...] no matter how much experience I have under my belt, no matter how old I get, it's all just a repeat of what came before. ### Runners don't actually *like* running I always suspected this! Whenever I run, my brain is "Stop this. Stop this right this instant." *for the entire time*. Runners tell me that I should push through, and then I'll have fun. But I think what's they mean is that it's just [[Type-1 vs Type-2 fun|Type-2 fun]]. Even professional runners! He interviews a professional athlete once: > Do you feel like you'd rather not run today, like you don't want to run and would rather just sleep in? He stared at me, and then, in a voice that made it abundantly clear how stupid he thought the question was, replied, **Of course, all the time.** He himself, uses [[Hemingway Effect - Stop when you have appetite for more|Hemingway Effect]] both for running and for writing: > Sometimes I run fast when I feel like it, but if I increase the pace, I shorten the amount of time I run. The point being to let the exhilaration I feel at the end of each run carry over to the next day. This is the same sort of tack I find necessary when writing a novel. I stop every day right at the point where I feel I can write more. Do that when the next day's work goes surprisingly smoothly. And he has to sort of berate himself to run: > Whenever I feel like I don't want to run, I always ask myself the same thing. You're able to make a living as a novelist, working at home, setting your own hours, so you don't have to commute on a packed train or sit through boring meetings. Don't you realize how fortunate you are? Believe me, I do. Add to that, running an hour around the neighborhood is nothing, right? ### ...But they do *love* running The physical and mental tolls of running are offset by the physical and mental benefits. Physically, he talks about the pounds he puts on if he stays sedentary. Mentally, he finds the rest of his life as a writer mentally unhealthy and he therefore must keep a healthy lifestyle. This is known advice for founders. Generally, if you're in a profession that fucks with your psyche, you must offset it with training. [Science agrees](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35777076/). Beyond the benefits, he finds something higher in running. It *feels* similar to other activities that reduce [[Default mode network|default mode network]] activity like meditation, prayer or [[Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihayli|flow]]. At the extreme, he discovers [nondualism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nondualism) an ultra-marathon: > It stepped into a different place. After my fatigue disappeared somewhere after the 47th mile, my mind went into a blank state you might even call philosophical or religious. So you could see the appeal. ### Assorted philosophical nuggets This is the first Murakami book I'm reading, but I can see why he's a popular novelist. He takes a mundane observation from day-to-day life and presents it in a profound way. * When talking about a marathon he didn't train enough for: * *It's pretty thin on the wall separating healthy confidence and unhealthy pride*. * We're always novices at getting old: * *this is my first experience growing old, and the emotions I'm having, too, are all first-time feelings. If it were something I'd experienced before, then I'd be able to understand it more clearly, but this is the first time, so I can't* * Echoes [[1,000 True Fans]]: * *with each work, the number of my readers increased. What made me happiest was the fact that I had a lot of devoted readers, the one in ten repeaters, most of whom were young. They would wait patiently for my next book to appear and grab it and read it as soon as it hit the bookstores. This sort of pattern gradually taking shape was, for me, the ideal, or at least a very comfortable situation. There's no need to be literature's top runner* * No destination in writing: * *As I write, I arrange my thoughts. And rewriting and revising takes my thinking down even deeper paths. No matter how much I write, though, I never reach a conclusion. And no matter how much I rewrite, I never reach the destination.* * When he injures his knee: * *Like most tragedies in life, it came without a warning* * One thing I disagreed with him: He thinks schools shouldn't make kids run. I disagree. I'm thankful that the military forced me to run a four kilometer mile. I think he suffers from [[Advice Paradox]]: he's a high agency person and teaching people with less agency is different. ![[What I Talk About.png|300]] #published 2025-03-09