Feelings - Dom's Blog - Obsidian Publish

## The Nature of Emotions Emotions are an integral and fundamental aspect of the human experience. These feelings serve as a vital reflection of our underlying [[needs]], acting as a communication channel between our unconscious and conscious minds. When our needs are met and satisfied, we experience positive feelings, signaling a state of well-being and contentment. Conversely, when our needs are unmet or neglected, we experience negative feelings, indicating a state of discomfort or distress. These emotional signals prompt us to take action to address the underlying needs and restore balance. ### The Challenge of Identifying and Managing Emotions One of the significant challenges associated with emotions is that accurately identifying them, understanding their root causes, and knowing how to effectively manage them are all skills that must be learned and cultivated over time. These skills are not innate but rather acquired through experience, observation, and conscious effort. A young child, for instance, typically lacks the vocabulary and cognitive abilities to articulate the nuances of their feelings. Their emotional expressions often boil down to simple categories of "feeling good" or "feeling bad." Furthermore, a child may struggle to identify the specific triggers or circumstances that lead to these feelings, and in some cases, they may not even be aware that they are experiencing emotions at all. Moreover, children often lack the knowledge and skills to effectively manage their emotions. When experiencing positive emotions, they may impulsively act on their urges, such as breaking into song and dance, even if the situation is inappropriate. Conversely, when experiencing negative emotions, they may resort to lashing out, disrespecting authority, or engaging in other disruptive behaviors. As a child matures, they gradually develop the capacity to be more specific and nuanced in their understanding and expression of their feelings. They may utilize resources such as emotion lists or charts to help them identify and label their feelings more accurately. Identifying a specific feeling can also provide clues about the underlying cause or trigger of that feeling. ### Feelings as Indicators of Needs Furthermore, individuals may come to recognize that their feelings serve as valuable indicators of their needs. When experiencing a negative emotion, they can engage their curiosity and explore the underlying unmet need that is contributing to their discomfort. This process of self-discovery can be challenging and requires patience and persistence. The process of identifying and addressing unmet needs can be likened to caring for a crying baby. Initially, the cause of the baby's distress is unknown, requiring a process of trial and error to identify the source of the problem. One might check the baby's diaper, offer food, or try other comforting measures until the crying subsides. Through repeated experiences, parents develop the ability to anticipate the baby's needs based on situational cues or to quickly identify and resolve the issue when it arises. ## Common Pitfalls in Emotional Processing Unfortunately, even with increased awareness and understanding, individuals may still encounter pitfalls in their emotional processing. One common pitfall is misinterpreting feelings as thoughts, leading to confusion and misdirected efforts to address the underlying issues. It's important to remember that feelings are universal among all humans. If other people in other places and times did not or are not feeling it then it is probably not a feeling. ### Taking Responsibility for Feelings Even when individuals accurately identify their feelings, they may fall into the trap of blaming others for their emotional state. It is crucial to take responsibility for one's own feelings, recognizing that no one else experiences them and that ultimately, we have the most control over our emotional responses. While others' actions may trigger our feelings, it is our interpretation and response to those actions that determine our emotional experience. Taking responsibility for our feelings empowers us to take proactive steps to manage them effectively. This may involve communicating our feelings to others, setting boundaries, or changing our interactions with those who contribute to our negative emotions. For example, one might express their feelings in response to another person's actions, making a request for a change in behavior. However, if the other person does not fulfill the request, it is up to the individual to set a boundary and adjust their interactions accordingly. ### The Dangers of Denying Feelings Finally, individuals may attempt to deny or suppress feelings that they deem unacceptable or inappropriate. However, ignoring or denying feelings only amplifies their power to negatively impact our lives. When feelings are suppressed, they do not simply disappear but rather manifest in other ways, often leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms or impulsive behaviors. For instance, in response to a negative emotion, an individual may resort to excessive drinking or lash out at loved ones without conscious awareness. These behaviors are often driven by the underlying, unacknowledged feelings that are seeking expression. Therefore, it is essential to acknowledge and address our feelings, even when they are uncomfortable or challenging, to promote emotional well-being and healthy coping strategies. If you are experiencing a feeling that you [[should]] not be feeling, it is important to seek support and guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. ## Feelings when your needs are satisfied | **AFFECTIONATE** compassionate friendly loving open hearted sympathetic tender warm **ENGAGED** absorbed alert curious engrossed enchanted entranced fascinated interested intrigued involved spellbound stimulated **HOPEFUL** expectant encouraged optimistic | **CONFIDENT** empowered open proud safe secure **EXCITED** amazed animated ardent aroused astonished dazzled eager energetic enthusiastic giddy invigorated lively passionate surprised vibrant | **GRATEFUL** appreciative moved thankful touched **INSPIRED** amazed awed wonder **JOYFUL** amused delighted glad happy jubilant pleased tickled **EXHILARATED** blissful ecstatic elated enthralled exuberant radiant rapturous thrilled | **PEACEFUL** calm clear headed comfortable centered content equanimous fulfilled mellow quiet relaxed relieved satisfied serene still tranquil trusting **REFRESHED** enlivened rejuvenated renewed rested restored revived | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | ## Feelings when your needs are not satisfied | **AFRAID** apprehensive dread foreboding frightened mistrustful panicked petrified scared suspicious terrified wary worried **ANNOYED** aggravated dismayed disgruntled displeased exasperated frustrated impatient irritated irked **ANGRY** enraged furious incensed indignant irate livid outraged resentful **AVERSION** animosity appalled contempt disgusted dislike hate horrified hostile repulsed | **CONFUSED** ambivalent baffled bewildered dazed hesitant lost mystified perplexed puzzled torn **DISCONNECTED** alienated aloof apathetic bored cold detached distant distracted indifferent numb removed uninterested withdrawn **DISQUIET** agitated alarmed discombobulated disconcerted disturbed perturbed rattled restless shocked startled surprised troubled turbulent turmoil uncomfortable uneasy unnerved unsettled upset | **EMBARRASSED** ashamed chagrined flustered guilty mortified self-conscious **FATIGUE** beat burnt out depleted exhausted lethargic listless sleepy tired weary worn out **PAIN** agony anguished bereaved devastated grief heartbroken hurt lonely miserable regretful remorseful **SAD** depressed dejected despair despondent disappointed discouraged disheartened forlorn gloomy heavy hearted hopeless melancholy unhappy wretched | **TENSE** anxious cranky distressed distraught edgy fidgety frazzled irritable jittery nervous overwhelmed restless stressed out **VULNERABLE** fragile guarded helpless insecure leery reserved sensitive shaky **YEARNING** envious jealous longing nostalgic pining wistful | | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |