↑ [[2024-12]] ← [[2024-W50]] ## Overview Intellectually quiet week while navigating and surviving birthday celebration in New York City. Building stress led to a crash at end of week but recovered by Saturday AM. Hope to get back into fitness and diet [[routine]] this coming week as holiday ensues. ## Projects #### New York City ##### 2024-12-16 Smooth exit from Raleigh getting truck into shop and apartment tidied up and food left for Sassafras. Glitches in travel day between leftover liquid in water bottle, weather delays on both runways, and electronic glitches on metro. Arrived at hotel much later than anticipated. Late dinner reservation necessitated a quick slice of pizza around 1730. Bustle of the city having its usual calming effect on my mind. Struggling a bit with the theatrics of the trip itself, but here to show up and be supportive of everyone and celebrate. ##### 2024-12-17 Full day of musical-themed activities and touring capped by a viewing of *The Outsiders* at Jacobs Theatre. Really great show. Well-adapted to story with [[Music]] and book. ##### 2024-12-18 Another full day of sightseeing at natural history museum and catching a matinee showing of *Suffs* at Music Box Theatre on 45th St., followed by an unnecessarily long dinner at River Cafe. ## Reflections #### 2024-12-16 Continuing to observe thought patterns, attempting to acknowledge them without resistance. Difficult in the sense that most thoughts arise in an effort to suppress the [[anxiety]] caused by [[Thoughts on Loneliness|loneliness]]. Defense mechanisms. And the fatigue at continuing to allow them to be, when they were successfully put away a year ago. Annoyance at the continued need to revisit lessons already learned. Speak clearly. Don’t take offense. Don’t make assumptions. Do your best. #### 2024-12-17 **Prompt (if any):** *The Outsiders* Thinking of myself as an outsider, specifically the feeling of alienation as a member of an in-group. How doing the right thing threatens the perception of superiority within the in-group and ostracizes the one who performs the act. #### 2024-12-18 Left dinner early after several attempts to manage anxiety by taking walks outside. Very angry at Dad for his inattentiveness to the emotional [[complexity]] of the week and for creating a situation in which I had to shoulder the emotional labor for an entire group. I need to think about how to set very clear [[Boundaries]] around how I spend time with this section of family. #### 2024-12-20 Worn out physically from week in New York. Waiting to hear back from shop to pick up truck. Have silenced notifications from family group while the post-trip photo dump and conversation runs its course. Low energy and motivation without any sort of unhappiness or displeasure, just recognition of the emotional toll of the week. Cat happy to have me back. ## Astrology - **2024-12-15:** [[Mercury]] station direct - **2024-12-18:** Sun square [[Neptune]] - **2024-12-19:** [[Venus]] trine [[Jupiter]] - **2024-12-21:** [[The Sun|Sun]] → [[Capricorn]]