# Relator 交往 Domain: 🟦 Relationship Building ### Signature Theme Description Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people—in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends—but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk—you might be taken advantage of—but you are willing to accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person. The more you share with each other, the more you risk together. The more you risk together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine. These are your steps toward real friendship, and you take them willingly. ### Shared Theme Description People who are especially talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal. ### Additional Notes: - There is a sense of loyalty, longevity and sincerity with Relator. it's more about going deep and building stronger bond than it is going out and meeting new people. - If you have Relator on your team, chances are you've got someone who can really advocate for others, who can be the glue that keeps people bound together (source: 6 Video with Maika ) Over a quarter (28%) of people in Gallup's strengths database have Relator in their Top 5, the third-highest among all 34 themes. (source: 2) This is an NEED fulfilled externally, and thus requires reciprocation. Relators intentionally build connections with others and is driven by wanting relationships with longevity and depth. (source: 1) This is a paradoxical attribute of Relator: People tend to want to open up to those high in the Relator StrengthsFinder theme far more so than those with high Relator want to open up to them until they get to know them. (source: 5) (rephrasing) Paradox of Relator Theme: If Relator is a top Strength of yours, people tend to want to open up to you. But, you're less likely to open up to them until you know them better. #paradox In a team with **Relator**: Relator works extra hard when they're working alongside their close partners. So they can accelerate collaboration by honoring what partners do well by expecting positive shared experiences that elevate others. In turn, that means that other people can rise to the high expectation that a Relator has of them. (source: 3) To inspire **Relator**: They need opportunity to work with close friends and/or choose the people that they're working with. The people and the environment and the relationships there matter. (source: 3) Relator's "relationship meter" is kind of like that app that's always running on in the background, even if nobody realizes it. (source: 3) As a Relator, it might be important for you to ask for activities and involvement that offer the change to build a mutual bond with others. Perhaps this is sharing a challenge, a goal, or just a travel itinerary (source: 4) Raw Relator - Describe oneself as introverted and are comfortable around friends - Can be closed, picky, selective as they are overwhelmed by the need to invest in relationships with others (source: 1) Mature Relator - Provide comfort and trust of lasting relationship - Curious and open to connections and is always open to finding someone who might become a best friend (source: 2) ### Raw and Mature (source: 1) • Raw Relator can be closed, picky, and selective because it can be overwhelmed by the need to make an investment in relationships with others. Sometimes, it is hard for raw Relator to decide who to invest in. • Mature Relator is curious and open to a connection with all people and is always open to finding someone who might become a best friend. • Raw Relator can be full -- it sees relationship as all or nothing. Mature Relator is flexible and sees the spectrum of potential friendships. Mature Relator understands there are levels of intimacy. • Raw Relator can be so hungry for connection that those relationships feel transactional, while mature Relator is fed by friendship. It gets energy from spending time with its inner circle. ### Helps and Hinders (source: 5) _**Helps**_ - Your authenticity makes you someone people naturally trust. You keep confidences well, and as such, you can be a guide, adviser and mentor. - You invest in relationships, and this gives you a perspective into others that lasts over time. You've seen those you've invested in grow and change, and this enables you to authentically celebrate accomplishments. - Because you value authentic relationships, others feel valued when in your presence. - You care about people -- and they know it. This gives you a unique ability to deliver the "hard truth" and have difficult conversations -- because those on the receiving end know you care. _**Hinders**_ - You are selective in your relationships. Be careful about giving others the impression that you have an "in" group and an "out" group -- particularly if you are a team leader. - Because relationships take time, you can be slow to warm to others. This can give you the reputation of being aloof and unapproachable. - The depth and length of your relationships may cause you to make excuses for others' bad behavior if you know them well. Take care to be honest and fair in your assessments of others. - Because you place a high value on trust, you may have a hard time moving on when trust is broken. This can give others the impression that you are unforgiving and intolerant of mistakes. Realize that second chances are central to strong relationships, and that trust can indeed be rebuilt over time. ### With other Themes: #CS/Relator🟦 #CS/Includer🟦 #CS/Harmony🟦 • Relator: Social Depth • Includer: Social Courage • Harmony: Social Comfort ^43b8e5 #CS/Relator🟦 #CS/Individualization🟦 **Individualization** says I notice and honor the differences of the people around me; **Relator** says, I bring people close to me, and I build upon our shared or created commonalities. (source: 3) ^7a14c0 #CS/Relator🟦 #CS/Harmony🟦 **Harmony** has great energy when working toward a shared goal; **Relator** has great energy when working alongside trusted partners. ^246be8 ![[🟦 CS_Harmony#^27ea87]] #CS/Relator🟦 #CS/Woo🟧 Two themes are unlikely to be paired together. **Woo** is more of the courtship, whereas **Relator** acts as the marriage. (source: 2) #CS/Relator🟦 and #CS/Empathy🟦 This is spot on! I also have Relator and Empathy high, and I totally get what you mean. With those I’m closest to, it feels like I can almost read their minds... like I don’t just sense their emotions but also how those emotions shape their thoughts and vice versa. It’s like my brain syncs with theirs! But with people I don’t know as well, it’s more like I’m tuned into their feelings without the same clarity on their thought process. It’s such a fascinating dynamic of connection, isn’t it? [Kelly Stine LinkedIn Comment](https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:ugcPost:7289654750956920832?commentUrn=urn%3Ali%3Acomment%3A%28ugcPost%3A7289654750956920832%2C7290010898696450048%29&dashCommentUrn=urn%3Ali%3Afsd_comment%3A%287290010898696450048%2Curn%3Ali%3AugcPost%3A7289654750956920832%29) ^dc5d3a #CS/Relator🟦 #CS/Individualization🟦 Those with strong <mark style="background: #006DFFD6;">Relator</mark> talents enjoy close relationships, and those high in <mark style="background: #006DFFD6;">Individualization</mark> are intrigued by the uniqueness of each person. This can make the outcome of these two themes seem very similar; **both Relator and Individualization want to know others.** Individualization is more intuitive and one sided; "I know who you are." Relator has more of a seeking aspect, as well as qualities of mutuality; "I want to know you and be known by you." While those high in Relator tend to want to get to know more about the people closest to me, those high in Individualization tend to be intrigued by the uniqueness of those they are currently with. Individualization brings insight into people; Relator brings intimacy with people through interaction. ^c95ab8 ### Themes that Moderate: #CS/Woo🟧 #CS/Positivity🟦 #CS/Includer🟦 #CS/Harmony🟦 #CS/Consistency🟪 #CS/Activator🟧 ### Themes that Amplify: #CS/Individualization🟦 #CS/Empathy🟦 #CS/Developer🟦 #CS/Arranger🟪 #CS/Deliberative🟪 #CS/Maximizer🟧 ----- ### Sources: Theme Descriptions: Rath, Tom. _StrengthsFinder 2.0_. Gallup Press, 2007. 1 [Pairing and Expanding Your Strengths: Relator](https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/250574/pairing-expanding-strengths-relator.aspx) 2 [Relator: Learning to Love All 34 Talent Themes](https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/251381/relator-learning-love-talent-themes.aspx) 3 [Relator: Highlights From Your CliftonStrengths 34](https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/267950/relator-highlights-cliftonstrengths.aspx) 4 [Understanding and Investing in Your Relator Talent](https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/249593/understanding-investing-relator-talent.aspx) 5 [The Relator Theme: How You Can Productively Aim Your CliftonStrengths Talent](https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/249509/relator-theme-productively-aim-your-cliftonstrengths.aspx) 6 [An Introduction to the Relator® CliftonStrengths Theme](https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/252311/relator-theme.aspx) Tags: #CS/Relator🟦 #state/published