![[how-self-esteem-works.png]] [Click here to watch the video on YouTube!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W56SCsrMPz0) 1. Who: Alexis, nerd, struggling with low self-worth for the last 5 years. 2. What: I finally dug into the psychology behind it. I'm super excited about this and want to share with you the model of self-worth, what it is, how it works and how I've improved mine 4. Why: Living with low self-worth SUCKS and I wish I had understood what the problem is much earlier. So I hope that by giving you an overview, you can learn how to manage your self-worth sooner rather than later. 5. How: I'll explain you the 3 basic steps and share with you my personal experience and commentary 6. The background of Self-Worth 1. Self-worth comes from a branch of psychology called Humanism 2. Humanism is all about how we see ourselves and how we would like to be: Self-image and Ideal Self 3. The amount of self-worth or self-esteem or confidence you have is directly related to how your Self-Image and your Ideal Self overlap" 7. When Self-Image and Ideal Self are NOT overlapping much or if there is even a gap, you feel unhappy and you feel like you are of low self-worth. 1. Examples: You're broke (or you feel broke) **but** wish you were a Millionaire 2. Commentary: I think this is where a lot of people get hooked on unrealistic "goal setting" and "The Secret" and all this wishful thinking stuff. Myself included. Creative goal-setting isn't bad! But if it creates a bigger gap between how you see yourself and your ideal self, it will work AGAINST you. You feel even less self-worth to the point of depression. 3. Tip: If you're feeling bad about yourself (work, love, money, living situation etc.) you're VULNERABLE to quick fixes. Don't make the mistake that I made by buying into the wishful thinking/motivation gurus just YET. They have their place and they have good reasons, but unless there is some common ground between your Self-Image and your Ideal Self, you'll work against windmills. 8. When Self-Image and Ideal Self are more overlapping, you feel better and more optimistic about yourself. Your self-worth increases. 1. Examples: "What if where I am right now is a little 'good' even if it sucks?" 2. Commentary: So, how do you move your Self-Image and Ideal Self closer together? It's actually pretty simple. Take the pressure off! Start learning to accept yourself a little bit more. What's working for me right now is to CONSIDER that who I am right now is, weirdly enough, good. To CONSIDER that where I live and who I live with is, weirdly enough, right. I know you'll say "But you're giving up on your dreams! You're just settling!" but I don't think so. I know that life still has so much awesome things in store for me. But unless I start making peace with where I am right now, I'm cut off from that. Since I believe in personal growth as the default, I know that if I accept the here and now... I will have more energy to REALLY go for what I truly want. 9. When Self-Image and Ideal Self are the same or align very much, you achieve "self-actualization": You feel really, really good about yourself. You feel a strong sense of self-worth. In fact, you start feeling so good that you want to make cool stuff happen. You start to create from a good place. 1. Examples: "How I am right now is exactly the most ideal me. This gives me the confidence and the excitement to do this cool thing. And because I know I really, really want it, it will 100% happen." 2. Commentary: By practicing this self-acceptance a little bit every day, my outlook on life has dramatically changed for the better. 10. A note on "quick fixes": I've ranted against others who promise you a "quick fix" against a life that sucks. I'm showing you the model of self-worth ## Related - [[Humanism]] - [[Positive Self-Worth Messages]] - [[Negative Self-Worth Messages]]