# Passive-Aggressive Behavior Towards a Provider
This is "putting on breaks", "sabotaging" is a behavior exhibited in a shared process between me and a [[Safety Provider]] where I feel like I'm not getting what I want.
Passivity as a way to exert control in [[Dependence and Down-Regulation, Survival Strategy]], a way to deal with frustration.
## Potential examples:
* "Not sending my timesheet in on time" to my Money [[Safety Provider]] C Space as a means to express my frustration and stress about work in general and working for half my rate.
## Why is this important?
It's important because it is a means of control of a situation that seems out of control for myself. By stopping I can experience a certain calmness or control that I otherwise do not feel.
## What is exciting about it?
Feeling in control in a time (Corona, uncertainty, etc.) with a lot of uncertainty is soothing and creates a sense of stability and predictability.
## What sucks about it?
It undermines and sabotages the adult relationship long term. It creates mistrust, frustration, implicit problems, misunderstandings, feelings of guilt etc.
## What is this related to?
This is one of the shadow-sides of [[Dependence and Down-Regulation, Survival Strategy]].