My [[Joyce Rondeau, Mother | mother]] died after a long and courageous battle with cancer. It felt like watching a deadly car-crash in slow-motion. Stretched out over ten agonising, depressing, and feeling-out-of-control years. I last saw my mother around the 31st of December 2016 when I finished visiting my parents in Spain. She had been very weak and in pain and needed to lay down more then usual. The years of chemo and pain-medication had taken its toll on her body and her spirit. Her mind was still clear and she spoke about money, her brother and me. I remember the last time I saw her, after we had said good-bye, passing by her window as she lay back into bed. I did not know this was the last time. I figured, after 10 years of ups and downs, this would be another one. We spoke on the phone a few days later and she sounded very tired and out of it. I still didn't make much of it, I wasn't worried more than usual. We spoke one more time when I told her about a cold I had gotten. I remember she wished me well. Two weeks into January, my [[Heinz Rondeau | father]] called me and told me they had to move her to the hospital. She had been too weak to stand up. And that he couldn't take care of her anymore because he, too, was now too weak. He sounded heavy so I started to worry, too. I asked him if I could talk with her but he said she was too weak at the moment. I should try again in a few days. I asked him if I should fly down to Spain but he refused: "There's nothing you can do right now." Then another week passed, he said she had a few good days but slid in and out of consciousness. That's the first time we decided I was on "stand-by" to fly down. In the late afternoon of the 5th of February, I got "the phone call". The call I had dreaded for ten years since My mothers cancer diagnosis 2008. That ONE call in which my dad asked me to buy a ticket and come as soon as I can to see my mother, who was still alive, one last time. I bought the ticket to fly out of Tegel early next morning to arrive at the hospital before 11am. I remember taking a Taxi to the airport at 6am. Then getting on the airplane feeling still and numb and yet completely functional. Two hours later, at around 9am, I landed in [[Mallorca, Spain|Palma de Mallorca]]. I switched on my phone and received my fathers WhatsApp message. My mother had passed away over night. And that I needed to come to say good-bye as soon as possible due to hospital regulations. I took another Taxi and arrived at about 10 or 10:30. I first saw my father who explained to me what happened. She had not been conscious for most of the past days. Had been on pain-management. Her breathing had slowed down last night. He stayed with her for the whole night. Singing her her favourite song "San Francisco" by Scott McKenzie over and over as she passed away. I had twenty minutes to say good-bye before the hospital had to move her to the morgue. I entered the room. To the right her hospital bed appeared. I moved closer and saw her body. Eyes closed, her thin hands folded, still.