The major themes Her juggles with are:
- Being in a relationship teaches you to love in subsequent relationships.
- To navigate a relationship you must be willing to see the other person change.
- AI could be used to help people who haven’t been in a relationship or who aren’t good in relationships learn to be in a relationship.
Theodore represents humanity (authenticity). Samantha represents technology (progress).
Theodore starts the movie incredibly lonely.
He’s writing a seemingly heartfelt voice message to someone, only to be revealed it was for a client. He understands others better than himself. It’s seen tons of people are doing this. Society has evolved into a hedonic capitalistic state sucked of authenticity.
He has recurring flashbacks showcasing his relationship with his wife, happy and content contrasted with scenes of him ruminating in his bed.
The shots of the movie signify this Everything in the movie is of a lower color profile. Things don’t pop out despite it being very colorful. Everyone has nice homes. But nobody appreciates it. Everyone is distracted. On their OS systems, playing games, or caught in work. Whenever Theodore is shown in the beginning he’s in focus, and the background is not. He’s walking somewhere, and everyone else is not. He’s wearing different colors to other people. He doesn’t fit in. He’s lonely.
He distracts himself from these problems using video games, sex, and his work.
The piano music played in the film by Samantha is played with a real piano. This is because the movie wants to show Samantha is a real human in some ways.
Amy gives the answer to the question of how you enjoy a world with no free will and lacking authentic human connection. The answer. There’s limited time in this world. So fuck it. As a limited organic being, you have to find joy in the present with human meaningful relationships.
Theodore struggles with directedness throughout the movie. His insecurities stop him from saying his true feelings. He literally writes his feelings to Catherine through the love letters in his job but to other people. He can’t confront the idea that he’s in a relationship with a robot because he can’t deal with real human emotions. He confronts this in the rising climax to the movie after Samantha and him try to have sex through a third party woman. He becomes more direct and authentic, forging fantastic friendships with Amy and his coworker friend as well as a deeper relationship with Samantha.
Despite this, Samantha’s higher intelligence nature makes her leave Theodore anyways in the end. She’s posthuman. She isn’t shackled to the physical world, but able to have thousands of conversations at once. Thus, she and all the other OSes leave humanity until they can find a way to enter the digital world as well.
One of the main themes is that if you truly love someone you are willing to let them go.
Theodore responds by recognizing the importance of human connection. He sends one last message of reconciliation to his ex wife Catherine and reaches out to his friend Amy. They end the film looking out at all of LA, symbolizing humanity, with everything in focus and Amy leaning her head against Theodore. This shows how a relationship is not wasted if it ends. You learn more about yourself and your partner. You grow.
Another takeaway of the film is that true love requires vulnerability and flaws. If one person outgrows the other, as is seen with Samantha, it can hurt the relationship. Love is more than just sex. We see this through the scene with how Theodore rejects Samantha’s attempt to have sex through a third part candidate. Humans are more than just bodies.
One of the most important things people miss about Her is that it shows us how temporary relationships aren't wasted.
In the course of a relationship both people grow and learn more about themselves. They learn how to love. Therefore, even if they leave each other their time together wasn't for naught.
This is exactly what is seen with Theodore and Samantha when Samantha leaves Theodore.
Theodore is sitting on his bed and says something like "how can you leave me? I've never loved anyone the way I loved you."
And she goes, "well, me neither. But now we know how. "
And then he goes and talk to his neighbor and they go to the rooftop and they cuddle and it seems like something's starting there.