Author:: [[Silvia Emma]] DateFinished:: URL:: https://paminy.com/book-summary-four-loves-contemplations-affection-friendship-eros-charity/#Friendship Rating:: Tags:: #aip # Book Summary: The Four Loves – Contemplations on Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity  ## Highlights A key element of Friendship is that friends support each other on this journey. They’re both invested in making the journey because they see the value in it and they want to help their friend on that journey too. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gydrnmp2zy54bvz5bw3gw8ch)) - Note: You need to understand the dreams or goals of your friend to be able to help them along their journey. This requires vulnerability. True friendship isn’t driven by a need to be needed, it’s motivated by that shared passion. We don’t need our friends for survival in the way that we might need someone to feed us when we’re young. It also doesn’t involve sexual need, which is part of Eros – the love we’ll look at next ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gydrqq2828etddfj52zpmhnk)) - Note: I’m some ways friendship can be seen as the purest form of love. [[Creating an echo chamber out of your friendships is something you must be careful of]] When we’re surrounded by like-minded people, we run the risk of living inturning into an echo chamber, where our views are constantly affirmed by people who think the same way as us. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gydrwz0f62e6b0e278e6szj7)) - Note: While many friendships are brought about by shared passion and values, sometimes having a friend that is very different from you can be a good thing. It keeps you from falling into an echo chamber. Like my friend Chris. They’re 50! there is one love that doesn’t go sour, Lewis’s fourth love – Charity. Charity happens when humans practice the purest form of Gift-love. Just a reminder – Gift-love is the kind of love that’s based in generosity. You desire only what’s best for someone else, without any self-interest or hidden agenda. It’s the kind of deep love you might feel toward someone very dear to you. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gyds14hac2tqcd4k18cetpf9)) This is an important gift Charity offers us – it’s the love that’s given to us when we’re unlovable. And this makes it the love that we all need most. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gyds0sj7p66vsq8467jyrjxe)) Ironically, most of us crave a different type of love. We want to be loved because we’re attractive or brilliant or talented. Because of this, we’re often shocked and humbled when someone offers us Charity. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gyds0ng5m2pssx6f7w6gaqwg)) [[The purest form of love is unconditional and expresses love through action rather than feeling]]