Author:: [[David Brooks]] DateFinished:: 6/13/2023 Rating:: 7 Tags:: ## 🚀The Book in 3 Sentences - We have a rich unconscious life - Emotion is necessary for effective reasoning but we live in a world that values quantifiable metrics so we prioritize SAT scores, GPA, and IQ rather than discussions about character and how to foster it. - We live in a deeply social world. Our relationships effect our cognition. ### 🎨 Impressions - I love the way this book is both a fiction and non-fiction book. David Brooks writes the story through the lens of Harold and Erica who you become fond with over the course of the narrative. He ties in non-fiction studies on psychology, behavioral economics, neuroscience, linguistics, and more throughout the explain why certain things are happening. It makes it more engaging. However, that doesn't mean it's good fiction. The story itself is quiet bad because he has to fit parts of their lives through psychological principles. ### 📖Who Should Read It? - Anyone interested in psychology - Anyone interested in anthropology ### ☘️ How the Book Changed Me - This book made me realize how much the unconscious plays in our everyday lives. It made me realize more so than before how poor people literally have a straight disadvantage for raising their social class because their unconscious processing is at such a disadvantage compared to those raised in middle or upper class environments. # Summary There are three main themes of The Social Animal: 1. We have a rich unconscious life 2. Emotion is necessary for effective reasoning. But we live in a world that values quantifiable metrics so we prioritize SAT scores, GPA, and IQ rather than discussions about character and how to foster it. 3. We live in a deeply social world. Our relationships effect our cognition. ### 1. We Have A Rich Unconscious Life So much of our decision making is beneath conscious awareness. According to Danielle Kahneman we make decisions through [[System 1]] and [[System 2]] thinking. Here are a few examples from the book of system 1 thinking completely overruling system 2: - Boys deciding who they are attracted to. Generally they look more at physical attraction where as woman look more for signs of trustworthiness. - We are much more prone to form relationships with those in our environment. This enters a whole science of [[Relationships MOC]]. - Partners bring many implicit assumptions to relationships which need to be revealed and worked on if the relationship wants to survive over the long run. - Our [[Attachment styles]] profoundly shape how we come to our relationships later on in life. - The very languages that we know alter our perceptions of the world. - The cultures we live in profoundly effect our unconscious processing through social norms. [[The main role of a culture is to provide a framework for bringing order to experience]]. [[When to use system 1 versus system 2 thinking]]. ### 2. Emotion Is Necessary For Effective Reasoning - We don't have to decide if an action was moral or not through conscious processing. Often we just know. - [[Negative emotions are often indicators you need to change]]. ### 3. Our Relationships Effect Our Cognition In a classic study by Betty Hart and Todd Risley of the University of Kansas, they found that by the time they are four, children raised in poor families have heard 32 million fewer words than children raised in professional families. On an hourly basis, professional children heard about 487, "utterances." However, children growing up in welfare homes heard about 178. In short, parents don't just pass on money, they pass on habits, attachment styles, genetics, knowledge, and cognitive traits. This means poor students are at a sever disadvantage even if they do manage to get the grades and money for college compared to rich students. They don't have the trained cognition for the college life. [[It's easier to change our environment than to change our insides.]] ### The Meaning Crisis We have the concepts of Ancient Greece like virtue, morality, and honor, but we don’t have a system through which to connect them. We don't know how to bring together conscious and unconscious processing into a system for character development.